Expectation

"Have you ever had expectations that did not get fulfilled? Perhaps a coworker let you down. Perhaps you were trusting God for something in your life that never materialized. Perhaps you became devastated by an unmet expectation that you felt you were entitled to."

Everyday, i receive email which contains with God's words and prayer. Sometimes, it's very surprising when receive it with a title that may related to my current life. Feel like God talks to me face by face. And yeap, i feel good!

I have a lot of expectation lately, even more and more greedy. I hope everything should be and must be in my hand. I cannot tolerate with any flaw. However, seem like God is trying to oppose against me. What i put higher expectation to, i cannot get it easily. Hence, i frustrated! I despair! "Why? How come? It's unfair to me! Does God still be my side?" i really think about these! I even blame God! I scream to Him like a kid scream to her mum when her mum doesn't want to buy the toys to her. I cry like a baby.

Despite of these, He never gives me up. He just wants me to surrender everything to Him. I seem like lost everything yet He gives me more than these. I'm always graceful and blessful. And i thank God for giving me a chance to learn what is receive by faith. We cannot predict our future but God is my life guarantor. He sends me guardian angels to guide and protect me.

"Yes!Yes!Yes!" Trying to give this response when someone is asking your help no matter you think you are not able to do. But just you not able to do. It doesn't means God is not able to do! Cos nothing is impossible to Him! And of course, it's my homework too!

I need Your mercy, Lord!
Please show me where I am wrong and give me the wisdom, courage, and conviction to repent and to always do what is right.
On my bed I remember you; I think of you through the watches of the night.

因着信

信就是对所盼望的是的把握，是还没有看见的是的明证。因着这信心，古人得到了称许。 （希伯来书11:1-2）

很愧疚。拿了圣经这么久，我从来没发现过这段经文。我是因为要为即将到来的FOC写"营长的话"，有着感动要用圣经经节做我的结尾，翻翻圣经无意读到。这不是偶然的，我知道。虽然在教会经常听袁牧师分享并强调信。但在自己的生活某层面上，信始终是小的。

这阵子，为自己的生活策划了好多好多。因为工作、学校活动，要兼顾，所以每天都在安排自己的时间。任何人搞砸了我的时间，我就像愤恨世俗般，发脾气脸黑黑。因为学费，所以每天都在打计算机。算算这份工加那份工作再加那份工的薪水，看看够不够筹学费。所以一有电话打来问我要来作吗，我都会二话不说可以可以。缺乏或不合我意的时候，就在那个问题绕圈圈。这样的信大吗？不会，非常小。

希伯来书11:3-31都在说先知如何因信得救，神怎样供应他们的需要。神就是这样的信实。那我有什么好担心的呢？我不知道。突然觉得自己的烦恼好无聊。烦烦烦，靠自己最后还是会束手无策。神一次一次的在我的生命显明他的恩典，他的供应，当下的我会很感恩，但始终我的信却没增加。开始好奇上帝会怎样看待我，他如此的爱我，我却一次一次的不信他。爸爸应该很伤心吧！

前几分钟，我还在担心某些事情。谢谢eng ing姐的提醒。现在的我，不担心了。因为我知道我只要做好一个演员的角色，完成导演（上帝）给我的剧本就好了。

也相信这篇会使我永远的生活提醒。感谢主，只有你真正明白我在干吗。

Interlude

When i walked in Tampines
Somewhere nearby HDB flat...

A boy stood at there
Suddenly he turned his head and looked at me
and we start a very funny conservation..

"Where are you going?" he asked.
"Going home." I answered. (Actually i wanna went to McDonald.. but just a kid. May not to be so serious..)
"How old are you?"
"Bigger than you."
"Primary 1?" LOL, am i looked like P1 student??
"No."
"Then how old are you?" he asked again.
"18."
"18!? is it sec 1?" LOL.
"No. finish sec study already. How old are you?" Was my turn to ask him.
"5 years old." Well, no wonder......
"Where's your parents?"
"Going exercise." he pointed to the park where nearby our place.

Then our conservation ended. Maybe he started to feel awkward? or he just recall that his parents teached him don't talk to stranger? He just walked away and used a very weird eyesight looked at me. lol

Actually i was super duper tired already. But is ok. His innocent makes me to forget my tiredness. Somehow we can happy and just smile because of a small, not really important thing, even a stranger. I rather collect these interlude in my life than just busy in my own things and miss out many interesting part of life.

Isaiah 40:29-31
"He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."

Thanks for bro Titus"s sharing. =)

Answer

2012 视觉不错的电影
看这部电影的当儿 很多反思

在想 这部电影的导演 制作人
是在利用这部电影告诉观众世界正进入末日
世界已经开始败坏 偏向权势与金钱
要悔改 要珍惜自己眼前人
还是就像牧师所说的只为了展现自己的电脑技巧

我看到一半 脑海就突然pop出一个问题
如果有天你眼睁睁的看着一个一个国家开始被毁灭
整个地球都在被不同的方式吞噬
在你很清楚的知道自己所处在的地方也会逃不了死神的魔掌
你会怎样看待这件事??

不知为什么 我第一个答案就是--自杀
因为我觉得等死的过程应该很痛苦
就好象囚犯等待被枪毙的感觉
自杀可能就不用再看到整个世界怎样被毁灭
很悲观 right? 我知道 我也觉得自己神经了 呵呵

过后 Titus弟兄就突然分享一段经节
哥林多后书 6:1-10
我们这些与神同工的,也劝你们不要白受神的恩典.因为他说:"在悦纳的时候,我应允了你;在拯救的日子,我帮助了你."看哪!现在就是悦纳的时候,现在就是拯救的日子.我们凡事都没有妨碍人,不让这职分受到毁谤,反而在各样的事上,表明自己是神的仆人,就如持久的忍耐........借着荣耀和羞辱、坏名声和好名誉.我们好象是骗人的,却是真诚的;好象是人所不知的,却是人所共知的;好象是必死的,你看,我们却是活着的;好象是受惩罚的,却没有处死;好象忧愁,却是常常喜乐的;好象贫穷,却使很多人富足;好像是什么都没有,却是样样都有.

2Corinthians 6:1-10
As God's fellow workers we urge you not to receive God's grace in vain. For he says,"In the time of my favor I heard you, and in the day of salvation I helped you." I tell you, now is the time of God's favor, now is the time of salvation. We put no stumbling block in anyone's path, so that our ministry will not be discredited. Rather, as servants of God we commend ourselves in every way: in great endurance.......... through glory and dishonor, bad report and good report; genuine, yet regarded as impostors; known, yet regarded as unknown; dying, and yet we live on; beaten, and yet not killed; sorrowful,yet always rejoicing; poor, yet making many rich; having nothing, and yet possesing everything.

上帝给了我应该有 且合理的答案
上帝的恩典 救恩 我珍惜...
Thanks God!!

I ♥ U

I'm glad i have such a good God

Enjun sister send a msg to me just now
She share God's word to me
2Cor 4:8-9 -- We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.
哥林多后书 4:8-9 -- 我们虽然四面受压,却没有压碎;心里作难,却不至绝望,受到迫害,却没有被丢弃;打倒了,却不至死亡.

From this sharing, i know God has answer my prayer alrdy
I didn't share my problem that i'm facing now to enjun sis
but i know it may in God's plan

I also like she said that
"Situation may be difficult in life now. But thanks God, know that in Him, you may be down, but you are never out because He will deliver you. Wait for God's action, HE NEVER FAIL! "
I appreciate this word..
it actually encourage me a lot a lot

When i shout to God "Where are You?"
He answer me "I'm here" softly
I can listen it once my mind and heart peaceful
just bow down and surrender myself
Everything in His plan
Everything He care
He'll take action in it!!!!

2Cor 4:16-17 -- Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are bein renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.
哥林多后书 4:16-17 -- 所以我们并不沮丧,我们外面的人虽然渐渐败坏,但里面的人却日日更新,因为我们短暂轻微的患难,是要为我们成就极大无比,永远的荣耀.

AMEN AMEN!
I LOVE YOU DEEPLY AND THANK FOR LOVING ME TOO!!!

New semester

Okie, quite a long time never come here to update my blog

Now i started my school already
get into my 2nd semester
Haven't back to see my brothers and sisters who in the FMC yet
miss you all a lot!!!
i may go back on 15th Nov, k??
Also pray i can go the youth trip with you all in the end of the year

New modules, new teacher
getting harder and kinda can't make it, espeacially EIS..
The questions so chim!!
However, more and more god's grace in my life

My COMT teacher quite nice
she's a steady and freestyle girl
i like her a lot in my 1st sight
hope i can adapt there as fast as i can
can improve my language there as well

It's God told me this moning---
God doesn't partition you into pieces and loves some and not loves others. That's what people do. That...'s what you do. God, who created you, accepts and loves every little part of you, even those you deny and hate in yourself. So next time you try to dislike a part of you, just pause, look and remember that God loves it.

Maybe i should discard some of my thought away
Hope it also can encourage you~

Happy Beginning

现在我好饿啊!!!!!!!!

okay,
进入正题
现在时间是10.49am
我就有东西想share with u了

刚刚是我的presentation
talk about my career roadmap
又是紧张的度过等待被叫的时间
很难受 肚子又一直叫
昨晚做报告很迟睡 头很痛

在名单上 排比较前的mates
只有我的老师评分
可是排比较后面的
就由我老师和一个监考老师评分
而我就是那个衰的其中一个

在我还没present之前
我恰巧在facebook看到一段鼓励的话
Source from what God wants you to know..

what you are most afraid of is where your greatest rewards are.
If all you had to do was wish for something and you would have it, life would be pretty boring, wouldn't it? God placed barriers between us and what we want, so we can enjoy interesting and satisfying lives. God hid our biggest rewards behind the highest barriers - our deepest fears. God wants us to face our fears, and hold ground in their presence, and let them go, and that's how we get out biggest rewards. What are you most afraid of? Say it, just start by saying it.

确实,
我想我不是紧张
我是在担心
担心我的英文水准
担心我等下讲了没人听得懂
对自己完全没信心

结果
My opinion in my presentation:
Satisfied!!
虽然还是有看自己手上的小纸
虽然还是因为Wanli脸上的笑信心有点再次被击倒一下
(可能他不是在笑我，只是在跟Alvin讲话吧！不要想太多，Joyce..)
最后还是顺利完成了..
成就感 成就感 成就感
哈哈哈哈哈哈哈.....

明天我又有另一个presentation
紧张
因为明天的还没准备好...

最后
Share with u some words..
also is from what God wants u to know:
you are only as free as you imagine yourself to be.

There is nothing ''out there'' that's holding you down, - you are limiting yourself only with your own imagination. And your greatest limits are not even the ''cannot'' and the ''should not'', but the places where your imagination hasn't yet gone at all. There has never been a better time for you to open your eyes, let the imagination soar and see what more is possible.

又是鼓励我的新加坡生活另一段话..