2009年12月5日 星期六

Answer

2012 视觉不错的电影
看这部电影的当儿 很多反思

在想 这部电影的导演 制作人
是在利用这部电影告诉观众世界正进入末日
世界已经开始败坏 偏向权势金钱
悔改珍惜自己眼前人
还是就像牧师所说的只为了展现自己的电脑技巧

我看到一半 脑海就突然pop出一个问题
如果有天你眼睁睁的看着一个一个国家开始被毁灭
整个地球都在被不同的方式吞噬
在你很清楚的知道自己所处在的地方也会逃不了死神的魔掌
你会怎样看待这件事??

不知为什么 我第一个答案就是--自杀
因为我觉得等死的过程应该很痛苦
就好象囚犯等待被枪毙的感觉
自杀可能就不用再看到整个世界怎样被毁灭
很悲观 right? 我知道 我也觉得自己神经了 呵呵

过后 Titus弟兄就突然分享一段经节
哥林多后书 6:1-10
我们这些与神同工的,也劝你们不要白受神的恩典.因为他说:"悦纳的时候,我应允了你;在拯救的日子,我帮助了你."看哪!现在就是悦纳的时候,现在就是拯救的日子.我们凡事都没有妨碍人,不让这职分受到毁谤,反而在各样的事上,表明自己是神的仆人,就如持久的忍耐........借着荣耀和羞辱、坏名声和好名誉.我们好象是骗人的,却是真诚的;好象是人所不知的,却是人所共知的;好象是必死的,你看,我们却是活着的;好象是受惩罚的,却没有处死;好象忧愁,却是常常喜乐的;好象贫穷,却使很多人富足;好像是什么都没有,却是样样都有.

2Corinthians 6:1-10
As God's fellow workers we urge you not to receive God's grace in vain. For he says,"In the time of my favor I heard you, and in the day of salvation I helped you." I tell you, now is the time of God's favor, now is the time of salvation. We put no stumbling block in anyone's path, so that our ministry will not be discredited. Rather, as servants of God we commend ourselves in every way: in great endurance.......... through glory and dishonor, bad report and good report; genuine, yet regarded as impostors; known, yet regarded as unknown; dying, and yet we live on; beaten, and yet not killed; sorrowful,yet always rejoicing; poor, yet making many rich; having nothing, and yet possesing everything.

上帝给了我应该有 且合理的答案
上帝的恩典 救恩 我珍惜...
Thanks God!!

2009年12月2日 星期三

加油了 我的朋友

有时 没握到的手会比握到的手更长久

没记错 6年
难以想象你坚持到现在
谢谢你的痴

早料到我的答案对你来说是种残酷
你被伤害了 哭了
我了解这样的感受 但我不能做什么
只知道继续浪费时间付出
期待着不可能会发生的结果
对你来说的伤害会更大
我内心的罪恶感会很深

我想 这场游戏 始终要靠你自己去面对
我不能做什么 只能对你说声对不起
你 会是我永远的好朋友 好弟兄

加油 挥别错的才能和对的相逢
继续仰望他 他必医治你




=我心中的小约定始终在坚持着=

2009年12月1日 星期二

High Tea

I go high tea with Shao Qin sis and Xuan Kang bro
quite a long time didn't met Xuan Kang bro since he went for NS in s'pore
just chatting and sharing, nothing happened
and finally he get my hp number..

He sent a message to me just now
he thanks me for willing come to meet him
Hmmmm, hope is not a special meaning in it
He may just too glad can meet a old friend again..........







♥ Friendship Forever ♥
Sorry for hurting your heart
but i won't break this rule and principal FOREVER..
hope u do so too...

Drive me crazy

4++am my aunt and her daughter wake up
Disturbing!!!

I and granddad still sleep
my cousin turn on our room's light
doing her thing and make many sounds
Very pekcek!!!!

I wanna scold her
but my aunt still at home
I buai tahan and forced wake up even i damn damn damn tired and sleepy

My cousin ask me:" Why u wake up so early?"
Me said coldly:" Because of you!"
Then she say: Okay lo, i back to my room..
AARRRGGGGG!! can u detect it earlier!?
I brush my teeth alrdy and prepare go bathe to awake myself
Okay anyhow.. I may try to practice my assignment that writing in class later as well

Then then then
RAWR RAWR RAWR
my aunt turn........
she keep kacau me ask me do her things...
"Can u help me do this? do that? Do u have this? have that? Can u read this letter?"
My study plan gone eventually

When i go school, they go back sleep
RAWR again!!!!

Robbery

Relax relax, i'm not the victim and robber

Before i sleep
i heard noise from downstairs
I wonder and look down

A lot of uncles go around and look like find someone
After that i saw a guy hid behind a car and run suddenly
A girl saw it and shout:" Uncle uncle, over there!!"
Then the uncles run and chase the guy
Also have people shout:" robbery! robbery!"
Few of men rush down and help chase the guy
I don't know whether anot they had catch the guy at last

Is wondering
should i be careful as well?
because sometimes i back home very late even reach home at 12am

Low crime != no crime
Scary sia.........

2009年11月25日 星期三

Random

始终没变 始终如一
一样的态度 一样的语气

或许信心不大吧
才用这样的方式自我鉴定

我只会和别人一样
一切当着笑话看
笑了笑 一切就随风而去

妈妈说 我这次回来好像变了另个人了
或许最近发生很多事吧
也承认自己在思想上改变了很多
不过仍相信 时间到了 一切始终会回到原点

2009年11月21日 星期六

I ♥ U

I'm glad i have such a good God

Enjun sister send a msg to me just now
She share God's word to me
2Cor 4:8-9 -- We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.
哥林多后书 4:8-9 -- 我们虽然四面受压,却没有压碎;心里作难,却不至绝望,受到迫害,却没有被丢弃;打倒了,却不至死亡.

From this sharing, i know God has answer my prayer alrdy
I didn't share my problem that i'm facing now to enjun sis
but i know it may in God's plan

I also like she said that
"Situation may be difficult in life now. But thanks God, know that in Him, you may be down, but you are never out because He will deliver you. Wait for God's action, HE NEVER FAIL! "
I appreciate this word..
it actually encourage me a lot a lot

When i shout to God "Where are You?"
He answer me "I'm here" softly
I can listen it once my mind and heart peaceful
just bow down and surrender myself
Everything in His plan
Everything He care
He'll take action in it!!!!

2Cor 4:16-17 -- Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are bein renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.
哥林多后书 4:16-17 -- 所以我们并不沮丧,我们外面的人虽然渐渐败坏,但里面的人却日日更新,因为我们短暂轻微的患难,是要为我们成就极大无比,永远的荣耀.

AMEN AMEN!
I LOVE YOU DEEPLY AND THANK FOR LOVING ME TOO!!!

Jazz

石头越来越重
一路从公园跑回家 尽我所能以最快的速度跑
仿佛我这样跑 那块石头会在我到家前被我甩在路边

Jazz Jazz Jazz..
I really put a lot of effort and try my best to dance it well
but it look like wasted
Just because i absent 3 times when their rehearsal
So they think i'm not serious..

before rehearsal
have a short briefing

我穿好表演的服装走出来 senior就很酸很酸的说:
"你看你之前没来 所以irene把你弄成这样
等下我们要好好看你怎样表演"
我一笑置之 当作他华文不好
用不对词 才会感觉听起来很难听

开始彩排 Jazz是最后第3项节目
还没上去跳 我的高跟鞋就坏了
勉强穿Ailin的 很大双 脚一踢就会飞掉那种

上台 心理压力很大 信心少了三分之二 再加上脚上的鞋
整个舞蹈慢了人家半拍
还没结束 就开始做好心理准备
因为我知道等下senior、老师给feedback时肯定会中shoot

没想到我的心理准备还是不够接老师和senior的招
我可以接受善意批评 但是很over
老实说 我介意老师说的几句话:
"你这样的跳法根本就在降低其他人的水准"
"如果这只舞蹈不漂亮 你要知道你得负起很大的责任"
"所以我之前就跟irene他们说过了 你们怎么这么大胆 冒这么大的风险让Joyce参与你们的舞蹈?"
这几句话不断在我耳边回旋

我介意 真的很介意
如果是这样 当初你看到我在开始练这个舞蹈的时候
就不应该笑笑的对我说"你参加这只舞啊? 很好"
你应该就要坦白告诉我 我不适合!!
再不然就直接告诉我如果你要quit就直接quit 不要拖泥带水
你现在这样来说我 只会让我感觉你已经做好准备看我笑话!!!!!!

之前是因为朋友才加入这只舞
现在已演变成一种责任

I cry.. i go to toilet and start crying
When i back home, i lock myself in room and start crying again

Anabelle知道我不对经 但我理所当然地说我okay
我不笑不说话 静静一个人走
我不笑 只因为如果我笑只让我觉我很假 很恶心
我静静不说话 因为很多声音意念在我里面 再说话只让我觉得很吵很烦

Should i insist in my decision and give up everything even Jazz
or i should responsible to continue my practice and perform it next Sat??
God, where are You??
I need a pair of ears!!!
and have someone tell what should i do??

2009年11月20日 星期五

Slack

Recently, just wanna slack
don't know why
no mood to do anything
many plans ruinned

keep sleeping sleeping
still feel tired even though i have sleep many hours alrdy
maybe weather too cool
Every night i can have a deep deep and sweet sweet sleep

Today i late to school
because i just realise i forget to bring my ez-link card when i board in bus
the worst thing is i don't have syiling, smallest note in my wallet is $10
luckily the driver say never mind and let me alight at next bus stop
and then i forced to walk back home to get ez-link card RAWR

Take mrt to Clementi
i thought i can rush to school on time
at last, still failed
i alight train at dover station
but 74 bus very slow
make me panic sia.....

At last
jiafeng, siying and siti also late go in to class because of waiting for me
kinda paiseh
Mr.Chang very nice
he never mark us late although we late to class 30mins alrdy
and just ask me don't repeat it again after i explain the whole thing to him

In class, i try to concentrate
but can't... don't know why
i also lack of interest in playing stock again since my stock keep dropped
gladly that it just a game, not using my $$$ ='(

Dance Dance Dance
Jazz Jazz Jazz
keep rush into my mind
tommorow have rehearsal again
they give me warning alrdy since i didn't attend the rehearsal a couple of times
i tell myself is my LAST LAST LAST.........

Tommorow my aunt and cousin take flight to Shanghai
stay at there around 1 week
maybe my life can have some peace
I may looking forward of it..

My backache again.....

2009年11月18日 星期三

Jasmine 恭喜恭喜

最后我还是回去马来西亚出席我大妹的颁奖典礼
神恩典 我知道
不过天气 时间 路途
都不断的在神的安排当中

去学校之前 去了一趟咖啡店
送老弟晚餐
吓到 惊讶 心情复杂
不否认我的心跳加速
我看到了
虽然没转头 背影还是熟悉着

回到辅士学校
军鼓乐队的制服换了
很简单的设计(感觉以前的比较漂亮)

陈纯秀老师 庄芊诗老师还是记得我
聊了一下 问了问大家状况
感觉时间真的很快
转眼间离开母校6年了
可能是我的样子 他们还以为我还在中学 哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈

老实说 我比较想见到郑清娟老师和陈泽丽老师
我的恩师.........
不过他们都没在那里了

还遇到慧仪哦 一样的cool
远远看去 还以为自己近视加深

等了好久 我妹终于上台拿奖了
手机有点烂 相数没这么好

上台拿奖 不过头没转过来


所以回家再拍






有点伤心
感觉上妹妹在外面的感情好过跟家人
看到妹妹在学校嘴巴没停过
或许该反省反省我这个姐姐在他心里的分量

Anyway
Jasmine, good work!!
继续保持水准 姐姐会再出席你的颁奖典礼的!!!
希望这一次能够在你的学业上有更大的鼓励
期待看到你接下来的成就 加油!!!