足迹

Moving House

2011-03-10T00:01:00.002+08:00

Moving house to wordpress.

Ask me if you want :)

Jusco Members' Day

2011-03-05T13:00:00.001+08:00

放这个主题不是要炫耀我得到什么战利品
而是那天我像是回到了我的童年也回到了我和美莹同甘共苦的日子

没耐心和女人血拼的爸爸突然问我要不要去玩赛车
哈哈! 反正我也闲着就跟爸爸走进game场
好久没有和爸爸进game场跟爸爸一起打game了
小时候的我只要爸爸带我走进game场我就超超超开心

走去counter 爸爸既然用10快来买token
我傻眼只有我小妹和他三个人玩而已爸爸一下手就这么大
和爸爸玩3场赛车都是我赢哈哈
接着我就像个小孩子一样打我以前小时候很喜欢玩的游戏
才知道原来我的game已经不好玩到这种程度了
是那个game变了还是是我真的长大了?

然后爸爸还玩夹夹器
我不懂那机器的真名只懂不管你丢多少钱都永远拿不到那个玩具
超级无敌幸运的爸爸还真的给他用了八块钱吊到价值50块的大熊
我的小妹是好开心的说~

过后和爸爸妈妈走到Sembonia皮鞋部门
想到那时作promoter的我多不健康站不到半小时我就觉得脚酸要蹲下来了
哪里像美莹这样好像练过很久了这样可以站很久很久都不会累
最后慢慢影响大家和我一起蹲最后堵住顾客的路哈哈
然后呢作promoter的后遗症当然就是不管坐着躺着都还是觉得自己还在站着脚是超超超的酸
那三天的promoter生活还真的让我对这份职业有很大的阴影..

突然之间我好想有个时光机~ 回到5年前的生活..

看吧! 不听话~

2011-03-03T22:52:00.000+08:00

今天的暴风雨还真是让我一度怀疑我身在台湾遇上台风
雨大风大小小的雨伞无法抵挡

开完会议去了趟银行准备去搭快车回马来西亚
当准备走向车站时雨开始越下越大
我和人群一起挤在MRT外面等雨变小

2.50pm了我还在人群里开始有点小急
因为晚上7点有我的第一堂英文课才第一天上课绝对不能迟到
所以我开始祷告希望3pm雨就会变小了

结果才过不了5分钟雨真的有小一点点了
心里想着既然有雨伞雨再怎样大应该也不会有很大的问题
所以就打开雨伞就这样走出去了

走不到2分钟雨又开始便大了慢慢的风也变大了
我差点就因为雨伞的缘故就被风给吹走
很努力的用雨伞顶着风雨很努力地往前走
结果慢慢的雨伞开始变形慢慢的我半身湿完了
我可以感觉到我背后的guitar bag在滴水

走进了店屋赶快卸下所有的bags
顿时多么的希望我的附近有人向我卖tissue
很可惜都没有我湿得很狼狈~
开始检查我身上所有的东西.....
我的防水手提袋没拉链里面的东西都湿得7788
就连我才刚买还没翻开第一页的书也开始变皱了心疼死~
不过感谢主我的guitar bag湿完了本来我还以为我的guitar死定了
可是我才猛然发现原来我的guitar bag里面有防水的布所以我的guitar还是干干的
然后再检查我的laptop 我的laptop bag湿一半了
不过还是感谢主湿的那一半里面有纸顶着所以只是纸湿

大约3.10pm 雨真的变小了没风了
我走去车站买车票最后巴士还是拖到了3.40pm才出发

唉如果我真的乖乖站在MRT外面等等雨变小了才走来车站我就不用这么狼狈了
唉如果我真的乖乖站在MRT外面等等雨变小了才走来车站我的雨伞就不会变形了
唉如果我真的乖乖站在MRT外面等等雨变小了才走来车站我的东西就不会湿完了

最后我还是准时出席我的英文课~

有的时候真的是上帝不急只有我们急
而我始终是那个极度严重的急性子~

单单爱你

2011-03-02T02:47:00.002+08:00

He is in control!

2011-02-28T15:25:00.003+08:00

There is always a wonderful plan from God when we thought our current situation is worst!

Exam ended at 11am and had to meet Lisman at Raffles Place to do visa application at 11.40am
No more balance credit in my phone so i must reach there earlier than Lisman
I rusheed out after finish my exam
but NP is too big and it was 11.15am when i reached the bus stop
Then i started to plan my route
"Assume the bus come at 11.16am, reach Clementi mrt station at 11.26am. It is impossible to travel to Raffles Place in 15mins! Nvm, take cab!"
I hate to take cab in Singapore, especially during peak hour!
Even though you are rich, you also hard to get a cab when you are rushing..

After 7mins, finally get a cab!
"司机,麻烦去Raffles Place."
"Hmm, 小姐, 你知道要怎样走吗? 因为今天我第一天驾德士, 不懂怎样走.."
I was stunned!
"Huh? 我也不会走耶! ok, 那不要紧, 你送我去Singapore Poly就可以了."
"小姐只要你会走就可以了"
Stunned again!
After that, the driver told me that she was lost actually
LOL I was thinking is it one of God's plan?
Perhaps the driver could find her way after sent me?

After i get off the cab, i rushed to Dover mrt station.
While waiting for the train coming, i took my phone out
1 unread msg from Lisman, opened it -
"Joyce, take your time. Just realized that they receive visa application until 2pm, so take your lunch first. I'll see you at Raffles Place mrt at 12.45pm instead. Do reply to confirm."
A nice JOKE from God!

Cos I thought the embassy receive visa application till 12pm, i rush.
Cos no more balance credit in phone, i was thinking that i have to reach earlier than Lisman
Cos bus is very slow, i took cab.
Cos the driver was lost, God let her to drive me?
Cos I have no choice, i took train? Then i can save up my cab fees to Raffles Place
Praise Him with my grateful heart. He is in control!

And also......
Again and again, God never fail to show His miracle in my academic
I trust this time He will also!
Thank everyone who send jiayou msg to me! Appreciate it~

And thank God, finally i finish my second year in NP! =)

至少平静

2011-02-27T21:54:00.000+08:00

在你跌入人生谷底的时候，你身旁所有的人都告诉你：要坚强，而且要快乐。
坚强是绝对需要的，但是快乐？在这种情形下，恐怕是太为难你了。
毕竟，谁能在跌得头破血流的时候还觉得高兴？
但是至少可以做到平静。

平静地看待这件事，平静地把其他该处理的事处理好。
平静，没有快乐，也没有不快乐

我想这是我现在常有的心情~

感谢主所为我预备的
你的意念总是高过我的意念你的思想总是高过我的思想
你让我再次看到了你那不让我缺乏的恩典

还有幸好有你们不然我不知会被困多久~
满心感激~~

我投降了!

2011-02-25T00:46:00.001+08:00

好奇我的心脏还能负荷多少问题多少压力
感觉愚拙的自己彻底败给了繁杂的生活
上帝啊，我向你两手举起投降了

有的时候是我想太多了吗?

我只单纯希望我的生活可以再继续单纯一点，可以吗?

如果长大了就要面对现实的残酷
我可以选择永远不长大吗?

有时会觉得责任感是个很重的担子
可是我背着这原则走了好多年~

孙俪今

2011-02-23T23:21:00.000+08:00

，不管再怎样辛苦，都要坚持，努力面对生活!!

重新得力

2011-02-22T03:04:00.001+08:00

发现我很久没真正的感恩了
原来只要学会感恩了就会很容易释怀很多东西

供应我一切所需的神,
我要继续相信既然你应许了你就会担当到底
让我害怕的坏蛋你彻底失败了!

我宣告
我要继续每天和你固定的时间!!
求你给我恒心，不让任何东西拦阻我..

Copy from tiffany's blog,
It’s the best thing to do with your boy/girl friend, fiance/fiancee, spouse
WORSHIP and PRAY, WORSHIP and PRAY, WORSHIP and PRAY!!

心情

2011-02-21T22:58:00.000+08:00

新加坡的日子总是没法让我停下脚步体验生活
好不容易紧凑而来的报告搞了一段落
假期的一开始就有了频密的节目
忙碌的生活真让我对自由呼吸的世界有了许多渴慕

很久没有和爸爸有亲密时间了
很强的意识让我再次俯伏在他面前祷告读经
传道书提醒了我好多
世物都是捕风忙碌却不能体验生活是虚空
仿佛反映出我目前的生活烦恼显得更为多余

我正努力的找回当初的热忱
如果找不回我也不回头了......

又回去了

2011-01-02T23:49:00.000+08:00

哎又是时候回到了新加坡生活
在马来西亚度过的2个星期假期好充实
让我真的有不想回来新加坡的感觉

因为提了5个bags回新加坡所以爸爸很好的骑摩托载我进来
结果衰到半死东西一直掉
最好笑是安全帽竟然飞掉~
结果停在大路旁下车捡帽子回来
不过感谢主安全帽是滚到大路旁
不然我都不懂怎样捡回来..

接下来的2两个月一定都在为project忙
希望不会让上学期的历史重演啊~

终于.....

2011-01-01T23:30:00.000+08:00

什么都摊开来说感觉好舒服
还是只有妈妈最了解我心情

或许我真的需要时间重新冷静思考
不是我疑惑了只因我看重~
目前来说体谅和尊重对我来说很需要~

小妹也正式上K1了
可怜的他年尾才出世
比4岁的手势才没两个月就要和他的同学们一起比五岁的手势了
看他的书简直就是当年我小学的程度
我妈妈都摇头说顺其自然就好~
现在的小孩子有真正的童年都很难了..

2010年最后几天波涛汹涌
却在2011年的第一天再次向我显明了祂的恩典
我相信新的一年上帝仍必与我同在~
而且过得比去年更丰盛!

少年营

2010-12-25T01:03:00.001+08:00

你的地位无法被忽视
只要一睁眼满脑装满都是你
那天的不欢而散成了我几天的困扰

公归公私归私
整个营会中我还是不把个人感情带进去
再加上我把快乐带给大家把痛苦留给自己的性格
所以整个营会我还是没有就这样放弃掉

不管怎样我还是很感恩
这么多突发状况发生整个营会还是很顺利的落幕
至少听到少年人们说他们很享受

我要特别为那地方感恩
那里的食物可说是我参加这么多营会有史以来超超超好吃超超超丰富的
第一天就意大利面法国面包还有一些中西合并的食物
然后每天都超好睡每次躺在床上不到几分钟我就睡着了
一觉到天亮的感觉真好!!!
如果我长期住那里我肯定会变胖

买了些圣诞礼物不经常买礼物的我不太会选礼物
收到我礼物的人请不要嫌弃我的礼物因为里面有我满满的心意

还有谢谢所有送我圣诞礼物的朋友你们送的我都很喜欢
今年也是我收到最多礼物的圣诞节 =)

不要惊动爱情 + 真爱要等待

2010-12-20T02:13:00.000+08:00

意外发现了这2首歌...

重量级的生活

2010-12-01T21:25:00.000+08:00

最近竟然有人告诉我要好好享受理工生活第二年
hmmmmm 我想我应该是享瘦吧
以前我的压力只会导致我几天没胃口
现在竟然连睡觉都成问题.... -.-'''

我向来就是一个不懂怎样舒解压力的人
开学前就说要去游泳到现在我还是没去
假期前说要健身到现在连orientation都还没去
现在我连时间管理也有很大的问题

每天到家我的energy只剩20% 30% 了
不过还是侥幸搬到比较靠近学校的地方
至少到家后我还能秉着仅存的力气去冲凉
如果还住在以前的地方我的energy应该都进入负数了

看着国王他们即将脱离苦海我还真是打从心底的羡慕
我还有1年半噢噢我的重量级的生活继续把我压得扁扁的

男朋友

2010-11-29T01:11:00.001+08:00

中学时期听到这首歌就爱上了这首歌--男朋友 by 江玲
上星期FM97.2播了这首歌再次勾起了我的回忆
我爱上它的旋律爱上它的歌词
有意义附合现实社会的歌词：

我最讨厌油腔滑调虚伪的男孩
说什么什么爱你在心口儿难开
我最喜欢脚踏实地真正的男孩
他知道知道怎么用心来把我爱
我要奉劝那情窦初开的女孩
如果你要挑男朋友不要只看他外表帅不帅
你要留意他是不是很坦白很实在
如果他是注重外表虚伪的男孩
你不要不要对他付出你的情怀
如果他是坦白实在真情的男孩
像这样这样的男朋友才是可爱
我要祝福那天下多情的女孩
希望你们找到一位可爱的伴侣
真正的情爱
这样的人生会过的很幸福很愉快

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Dream

2010-11-25T10:46:00.000+08:00

啊哈曾经是我的梦想如今又再次窜进我的脑袋里

电台DJ 曾经让我如此向往
有个朋友在我的脸书留言要我帮一个校园记者投票
原来那个投票是FM88.3主办的
好奇所以也在FM88.3的专网游一回
赫然发现原来杜惠甹也是那里的一分子
看着他们的一点一滴又再一次掘出我的梦想

计划参加竞选DJ比赛不过还不懂有没有这样的勇气
看来为了这个比赛除了要再掏出我原本无极大的勇气该准备的东西还很多吧
加油咯!!!

最近搭好多顺风车
顺便在这里跟你们道谢!! :D

Past vs Present

2010-11-10T22:39:00.000+08:00

Surprisingly i start miss my past time in Tampines

Surprisingly i din enjoy my current life in Yew Tee

我说暴风雨前是平静的这句话一点也没说错

我还没搬来前干舅舅不断打电话问我几时搬去他家

搬来后的几天大家都好热情

几个星期后狐狸尾巴就出来了

舅舅说当自己家就好所以我就尝试把它当自己家

既然他们不要收我任何的家用我就帮他们做家务

我帮他们收衣服折衣服舅舅轻笑了一声

因为关系一直以来都不是很亲所以我不了解他们的身体语言

只有舅舅的女儿在家的时候就会很吵因为他一直哭

不然的话整个家很安静安静到很可怕好像周围布满地雷炸弹

所以就不断注意他们的脸色不然几时死掉都不懂

慢慢的女人第6感告诉我不对经了

果然让我猜对了~ 可是我能怎样

到了最后保持沉默还是属于了我最好的生活方式

虽然公公煮的菜来来去去都差不多一样

可是多了自由的味道

虽然公公总是爱理不理我有时还会先顾自己才顾我

可是有时还是会有温暖参杂着

我猜我应该又会在短时间内搬家

我想我该清醒了毕竟这里仍不是属于我的地方

因为无聊想写而写

2010-11-03T23:23:00.000+08:00

最近过得非常充实可能是才刚开学的关系吧

假期太长搞得我好像不懂要怎样动那些书了

每天一早ponteng的意念总在我的脑袋徘徊

不过最后还是硬着头皮去不然会有人因为我也不去学校

最近尝试为自己拟定日程表至少不想让自己过得太过颓废

拟定的第二天依然没照着走

所以我说人还是叛逆的

最近的新闻满天飞不过算起来已习惯很久了

不过习惯归习惯有时候我还是喜欢风平浪静的时候

只希望新闻不会造成太多麻烦就好

时间到了该上床睡觉了

叛逆归叛逆多多少少还是希望自己还有一点点的好习惯

早睡早起身体好丫!

joyce, 晚安!!

健康, 加油加油!!

2010-11-01T23:23:00.001+08:00

最近一直被拉去看医生
不是生病只是健康闹黄灯
妈妈怕到不断丢钱来买安心

真的是时候回去运动的日子
两个不同专科的医生竟然在不同的时间说了一样的话
他们都劝我要定时去运动
本来想咋傻不要去运动都不可以了

医生也说我可能太压力了
或许吧这一年半来我好像真的忘了怎样解压
每天的生活每天的呼吸都好像一块大石头一样的重
每天都要提醒自己时间到就要做这要做那
对自己要求也越变越高完美主义开始在我生活中有了重量
几乎快把自己操练成了一个机器人

说真的有时我回去了马来西亚真的就想这样放下我新加坡的一切
我想神的工作吧如果没有圣灵的细心提醒没有神每天的恩典
我真的会这样放下神对我所有的安排放弃进入那应许之地
操练自己每天带着感恩的心遇见神.....

上帝,放心! 我和你的约定我还继续抓着!! =)

搬家

2010-10-23T01:02:00.000+08:00

不再拿着熟悉的钥匙
不再走着熟悉的路线

不再吃香米吃的都是糙米饭

不再听到建筑声传来的是地铁声

我要重新认识我的地方-- 油池(Yew Tee)

"嗯,你那个叫什么名啊?"
"阿妹.."
短短的谈话就可以显示出我和我的干外婆有多陌生
我一样住进了亲戚家不过这次是我妈妈那方的亲戚 -- 干舅舅
关系更生疏几年见一次面
不过幸好大家都对我很热情
我在收东西干外婆就一直坐在旁边看我收还一直问我够位子放吗

现在很靠近哥哥的宿舍了
以后妈妈来找我们两个可以比较方便
不过因为干舅舅的性格过于直率在我还没搬进来前妈妈就说她不会经常来看我了伤心下
我的皮也该绷紧点免得得罪我的干舅舅
学校也变得很靠近了
以后不用再搭2小时的车程
不过这里比较偏僻感觉可以搭的巴士没几辆

不管怎样还是很感恩
他们特地买了新床铺新被单给我

我再也不用和别人抢桌子来作功课

空出了4个架子让我放东西现在我的东西终于有归宿了

1年半住公公家接下来1年半住干舅舅家

上帝就这样的为我安排到美美

小小的意念就这样成就让我能在开学前的最后一个礼拜搬家

感谢主所为我成就的也求保守我接下来要走的..

holidays, 2days left...

听,我在叫你!

2010-10-20T03:31:00.000+08:00

你还记得吗?

因为一场对你来说是笑话,对我是来说是噩梦而有了第一次邂逅

因为你突然叫我"小可爱" 我开始觉得你是变态所以尝试避开你

最后竟然是你把我救出地狱所以我开始对你改观

没想到慢慢的我竟开始习惯了你叫我小可爱

那一场风波让我以为我高估了自己在你心中的身份而开始讨厌你

但我始终是个心软的人最后原谅了你也因为你向我爸妈保证

那天起你开始成了我的靠山我也因为有你的存在而总感很很安心

你知道我喜欢吃螃蟹那时的你总让我几乎每星期六都有螃蟹吃

你总是留一大堆好料给我吃说是要把我养得胖胖的瘦瘦不好看

我说我吃不下你就用逼的哄的骂的讲的死都要我把食物啃下去

我总是迟到可是你从不曾真正骂过我

你总是别人吹嘘我有多好搞得我每次都很不好意思

我的生日你偷偷买了一个大蛋糕

虽然只有几只小猫为我唱生日歌感觉很怪不过那时的我还是很开心

在我拿SPM成绩的时候虽然你说我的成绩不如你预期

不过最后你还是买了一大束花送我

那是我第一次收到花我真的好开心好开心

明明就应该是来报到的时间可是你却通融我迟来只为了去买一大堆衣服

你看着我走进负心汉的怀抱里就开始每天不断下药般的唠叨我

想尽办法威胁我为的是要我赶快清醒过来

我被打转了几百回搞得伤痕累累才愿意离开那个负心汉

那时的你好开心加菜庆祝

最后你害怕我会再次受伤害你就开始在那些坏蛋们还没伤害我前就拉他们去后面警告他们远离我

过后我离开了马来西亚到新加坡读书

我告诉你我在新加坡找不到工想回来马来西亚找工赚学费

你开始为了我四处打听哪里做工赚钱比较快

每一次你一听到我去你家不管多远你都会赶回来见我

因为你对我的好让我爸妈开始变成了醋坛子

非常有默契的我们

上个月正当我决定假期时就回来找你时你就打来说我好久没来找你了

结果在我回来时你销声匿迹了

不知是我错过了机会还是你放了我飞机

因为之前我和你都很好所以大家都向我问起你结果我也和他们一样浑然不知

前几天回去了kukup

虽然没回到那时我们的那间度假村但是走着一样的道路

我是有一点点的想念你了

你到底发生什么事了?

那些坏蛋最近又来找我了你会再出来帮我挡吗?

真心祈祷你一切安好...

Say Sorry, TQVM!!

2010-10-17T00:46:00.000+08:00

Be thankful, during the period of organizing kukup trip
Be thankful, in fellowship in every bonding
Be thankful, get through everything with me
Be thankful, in every moment..

Sorry, i was not purposely made them absent the FES big family gathering
Sorry, if anything that i failed to do well
Sorry, if there have any misunderstanding among us
Sorry, my every white lies
Sorry, i failed to fulfill the promise between us

My sincerely apologize
even though you may feel it is not..

Had fun in the whole trip
God's grace fully filled in the trip

Touched, without reason
Perhaps have a reason and just because i don't want to say out, even face it?

I shared my everything with my mum once i stepped into my house
So nice and be thankful i have my mum
She never get tired of my every sharing
She always tell people that i have nothing hides from her
and it is just because she is always my good listener

I think i just require to take a break for a while?

Hope i can have a good sleep tonight
Having a long long time cannot sleep deeply
I long with it, really

Looking forward to every miracle to be done by You in the gospel rally
Free me, teach me, guide me
I desire for your strength, your encouragement

My holidays, 1 week left..

胡思乱想

2010-10-05T01:12:00.001+08:00

转播的当儿无意间转到"世界这么大"
带着一种羡慕的心态看小豫儿绕世界

可以这样绕世界感觉多好
如果说只要当明星就一定能免费绕世界
我想我会义不容辞飞奔去面试

我的梦很多背包旅行是其中之一
我不想等我老了才游世界可能吗? 或许~~
搞不好旅行做工有天会变成我的理想
当然如果身边有人肯陪我这样疯狂我会非常欢迎

明明是假期明明觉得可以趁机好好休息
结果明明始终还是明明
心头里像是被什么占据却不知那是什么
很多好想做的事最后却只剩有心无力来解释一切

可能站不稳跌倒了吧跌到不懂怎样爬起来
忘了怎样爬起只懂趴在那里傻傻哭泣
怀念之前的日子却忘了那日子怎么过
走不回原点也看不到终点
最后迷惘也只剩迷惘

我该怎么办呢?
或许我不是天生的乐天派....
想找人倾诉愕然发现没对象觉得有点小可悲

惊喜

2010-10-02T02:40:00.000+08:00

一觉醒来就看到学校的信息
可能我真的睡到太迟了
不懂为什么成绩公布那天我还是可以睡到这么香

我的成绩出乎我意料 GPA过3!!!!!
虽然很多考得比我好的人都跑来问我成绩而让我有点小小的妒忌
不过当我看到自己的成绩后我是真的打从心底的开心+激动
这种感觉好像在PMR成绩后就不曾有过了

我真的觉得很感恩神的恩典真的够我用
第一次其中一科的presentation还没结束就被讲师喊卡最后不能用
英文烂到极点却偏偏自己的课程是一大堆的presentation
明明就会的结果上了考场做到一塌糊涂
其中一科因为没有点子所以老师给的第二个机会都放弃掉
为了继续在理工学院生存绞尽脑汁想办法不用妈妈一分钱就能缴学费
现实的理工学院没有钱交学费什么都是假的
为了一个马来西亚半奖学金半助学金去应征结果被评到惨
或许妈妈说得对我是不能被激的
说是为了得到那赞助金也好还是让那个赞助商掉眼镜也好
我确实努力了虽然努力的有点迟不过我真的做到了!!!!
本来一心想放弃那个赞助金现在反而盟起一小点的期望
如果这是神的旨意没有一件是不可能的吧!

感谢主这是你给我最好的超龄儿童节礼物
就算没得到愿我能继续抓着那个热诚迎接我接下来的学期

最近的自己爱玩的性格似乎回来了
不过退化了点无辜者或许能暂时觉得侥幸哈哈

我的朋友几个月前我以为你开始和我一样爱玩
没想到最后你还是回到了那个点谢谢你送的大惊喜也希望你是真的幸福

曾经的贵人谢谢你所留下的
你的离开让我措手不及
不知你在何方但愿你一切都好

Universal Studio

2010-09-18T03:42:00.001+08:00

多亏新加坡青奥运我才有机会进这么贵的地方
食物虽然不是很好吃这样的待遇对我来说也算丰厚很多了

本来以为只是进去那里吃东西
没想到也可以在那里玩实在很过瘾
只是很可惜云霄飞车还没建好

Universal Studio什么都刚刚好就用水玩的最多
最好玩的还是那个进埃及地区玩的云霄飞车
第一次玩那种云霄飞车会突然倒退的真的有被吓到一下
然后就是那个恐龙地区的水上活动
突然被抬上来然后再往下冲惊喜连连
被吓到的表情都被拍下来不过要用新币18来买
算了赚钱手法用在红毛人身上就好
还有4D电影院感觉不同
不过在里面自己的样子应该被弄得很像傻子酱

从晚上6点半玩到11点半
出来的时候已经没有地铁了有点小紧张
感谢主还是让我赶上了最后一辆巴士
虽然最后被逼坐了1小时多的巴士

Anyway, 如果给我选我宁可去云顶玩
相比之下虽然云顶可能没有US这么漂亮(应该也只输一点点)
不过云顶的户外活动会比较刺激也比较便宜
马来西亚，我还是依然以你为傲!! =)

p/s: 由于这里上传的照片都很慢,所以我全都上传去我的facebook了...

拼了·遗憾没了

2010-09-08T13:58:00.000+08:00

真的是为了这次的考试拼上了
是中三以后第一次真正认真的面对考试
可以说是为了那个奖学金而拼的吧

三张考卷就三个晚上没睡
我的生活作息已经变成48小时然后冬眠12小时
几万亿脑细胞应该因为这场考试而牺牲生命了

这么努力结果死在最后一张
明明我是okay的结果来个头痛
头脑里的资料顿时来个大搬家乱成一团
本来把握的题目最后还是死到惨惨
GPA应该会因为这一张拉低很多

惊讶我竟然没emo 内心还是很平静
或许是自己真的努力了吧
成绩怎样也不在乎了
有没有拿到奖学金也不重要了

我始终没忘记那个在我来这里之前你所为我许下的承诺
谢谢你让我对自己有很高的期待
却也适时地放下我的得失心才让我不会活得这么痛苦
我拿不拿得到我都愿意谦卑顺你旨意.....

星光大道

2010-08-30T00:23:00.000+08:00

没有红地毯没有明星只是一个教师庆功宴
再也不能收儿童节礼物没关系我现在还有教师节的礼物可以收

收到卡片很窝心因为里面是我学生亲手写的
我很喜欢那只熊熊的衣服还有我的名字

okay 回来主题

星光大道在Swissotel merchant court hotel举行
出席者都是百力果(我目前工作的公司)各分校的老师

几乎每个老师都穿到是有够够够隆重的咯
有些还特地为了这个宴会钱包破洞
特地去买晚装鞋子花钱弄头发搭德士来回 TSK TSK
哪里像我穿到很低调
没有花多少钱只是花钱搭MRT

有点小显
虽然说是跟同事坐在一起之前也有合作过
不过我和他们的关系都只是建立在2小时的课堂上
所以总体来说我一直都在低头吃东西反正不吃食物倒掉也很浪费
食物还好咯还能吃每道菜都很健康
只是没有马来西亚酒楼煮得那么重口味

我的老板挺好的
虽然说我之前有点小讨厌他(因为他逼我面对我的伤心事)
虽然说我和他之间沟通少之又少
或许可以说我慢热的个性导致从我开工到来应该没有一个老师和我真正聊过天
他知道我和那桌子的同事不是很熟
所以他不断在安排我和一些至少有那么一丁点交道的同事一起坐
不过最后我还是拒绝和他们坐在一起
因为安排到来已经是整个盛会的下半场了
拒绝归拒绝老板还很好心的要求我旁边的人照顾我下
管他只是客套话还是可能老板真的以为我很内向
不过对我来说真的很窝心~~

他们准备的幸运小奖都很大了大奖更不用讲
都是那些燕窝名牌手表名牌包 iPad iPod MP4 数码相机..................
差不多抽有100个礼物
不过我什么都没中到算了他们请的老师太多了
反正我来的目的只是吃明年有机会的话再去拿

最近的自己极度emo 几天了似乎没好转
惨了惨了我的太阳啊你要躲到几时??

Be stronger!!

2010-08-27T00:53:00.000+08:00

I felt that i get through lots of things within a few days
Be honest, i start get sick of my current life
get sick of being a coward
get sick of being a 'sotong'
get sick of being clumsy
get sick of blah blah blah.. many many things

I know i'm not like that one
having no idea when i start have these..
perhaps is my 自卑感 due to the environment?

Well, I know i'm emo-ing again
many thoughts are rushing to my mind to disturb me
I knew those are not good for me
but i don't know how to stop them
perhaps my spiritual life is falling down and i never realize it at all

Anyway, i MUST be stronger than before
I'll try all my best to get anything that i could!!!

现实婚姻

2010-08-19T23:58:00.000+08:00

少年轻狂许下的承诺
如泡沫般的不堪一击
敌不过现实生活的磨练
轻轻一碰破了散了

婚姻被人笑话当生活小插曲
结结离离只要自己开心就好
笑说自己选错郎相信下个会更好
但孩子还能重新选择投胎选更好的父母吗
可怜孩子 2选1 简直存心刁难她

所以我说啊
我才不信天底下有哪个爱情真的有偶像剧般的浪漫
会真的为了自己爱的人而真心改变自己
会真的为了自己爱的人而舍弃一些事情
因为大家都生活在现实中

谈恋爱时他为了自己而努力上进
哇听了好感动
可是现实点只是为了现在的你
我才不信他可以维持到你嫁给他到白头都还能继续这样
除非他是真的为了他自己那我无言

谈恋爱时他为了自己尝试改变一些坏习惯
哇听了好窝心
最后就算他没有真的完全改掉都没关系
只要他有心就好反正时间多的是
现实点他只是为了现在的你
我才不信他真的拥有你了还会记得他需要改变什么事情

所以我说啊
根本就不是谈恋爱时的男人和婚后的男人不一样
只是恋爱时大家都在戴面具
结婚后就是掀开面具的时候
其实根本没有人在变你只是偶然发现到你在谈恋爱时还没发现的事情

很现实的说法
所以我说我讨厌现实!!!!

父啊，你为我预备的的男人最好不要跟我酱现实~

The Worst Interview

2010-08-13T22:34:00.000+08:00

为了奖学金特地搭巴士去KL
其实是50%奖学金，50%贷款
也是我第一次自己一个人搭巴士去到这么远的地方
感觉很奇怪也没什么安全感

去面试说是拿个经验不过还是会抱点期望
毕竟拿到了我就不用每天担心在新加坡的所有开销了
但老实说这个45分钟的interview把我弄到很低落
感觉整个过程就像2个警官在问我这个犯人
调查我所有的家庭背景
带着傲慢的语气吐了一大堆的问题
带着轻视的表情感觉我的答案充满了一堆疑点
整个过程我从紧张转变成压力很辛苦
一出来真有一大口的口气呼出来
情绪依旧在所以找个地方坐下来打电话回家
最后在大庭广众下第二次掉眼泪不错丢脸下

最后为了疏解情绪而决定自己搭11巴士独自去双峰塔
本来以为可以走skybridge 没票了算了逛书局
可能之前哭过所以容易觉得眼睡
没办法就下楼看画展不错的有气质下
我很喜欢那里的painting work
因为自己画不出所以觉得他们很厉害
自己的画能被展览我想他们应该觉得很光荣
他们有自己的梦想而我的梦想在哪里?
走着走着情绪就这样消失了
可能最后真的累过头了一路回来都几乎都在睡觉

我想这次的Interview可能没真的很烂只是对自己的表现有点小失望吧 (act 乐天派)
不过我感恩的是那里的负责人告诉我其实他们是在截止日期后才收到我的申请表格
上帝的怜悯吧他们本可以取消我的资格可我却得到这样的机会(虽然说未必会得到)

在那里我也第一次吃臭豆腐恶心绝顶
放进嘴巴感觉就像喝到老鼠的尿
也谢谢有美莹的收留还有他几个朋友
带我绕KLCC 第一次玩Left 4 dead
虽然累但是还是很开心 =)

也让我明白一个人会说谎是因为他害怕
但有时说实话结果或许不会如想象中的坏
但一旦说谎了可能结果更坏也累了自己

会不会得到我不想期待了那么一小点的期待都不想有
反正从我去新加坡读书的那一天起我的经济开销都得靠对神的信心
所以就继续抱这样的相信吧神会给我一切不足的而且会是最上好的

第二天--花瓶

2010-08-11T00:28:00.001+08:00

第二天的YOG 自己显得像个花瓶
很多选手都在今天的班机所以要接的班机很多
也因为要接的班机很多所以大家的筋都绷得很紧
也因为绷得太紧所以大家的口气都不怎么的好
我耳边的传呼机很多声音最后我选择什么都听不到
(因为都在用英文沟通，所以我要选择听不到简直就是轻而易举)
更最后搞到自己都在后知后觉得状态
最最最最后就开始变成花瓶跟在人家的屁股后面傻傻的绕了3小时

小小的挫败感感觉自己没帮什么忙
好像也有在小一阵子制造些麻烦
(因为接不到某个officer的班机)
大致上的说我都在做视觉动物

想想一下觉得反正只是志愿工罢了嘛应该没必要这么认真
可是看到大家真的很认真很认真又觉得我这样的想法很不负责任
算了至少我懂某些地方的基本程序只是不懂处理那地方以外的事情罢了
谁叫我是马来西亚人不在新加坡长大我有尽力就好啦

第一次进到离境关卡那里看到一架架大飞机在玻璃窗外
自己和飞机的距离感觉拉进好多
Wooowww 超爽的毕生难忘
接的班机很多都是angmoh的一直都在物色帅哥他们都是小弟弟
不过混在他们里面感觉不错
而且我感觉我看到Justin Bieber 是我的错觉吗???
最过瘾的是我接到非洲选手的班机
平时都是看到他们可怜没东西吃没水喝的图片
所以看到他们的时候他们给我的感觉很不一样
而且他们是超热情的
也遇到他们的教练他说他们都是说法语的
此时的他们顿时让我觉得他们非同凡响

这么多VM 我比较喜欢和Aki姐一起做事
还是他比较随和好相处
可是我都一直拿不到她的班还是真是小伤心...

突然想找回之前看出我心情的那个人
问问他现在的他在我脸上在看出什么心情....

1st in YOG Duty

2010-08-10T00:04:00.000+08:00

还没去报到心脏就快跳出来了
很多东西都还是blur blur酱

庆幸了下让我在报到前碰到了一位volunteer
不然我会连报到的地方在哪里都不懂

到报到的地方走错柜台拍谢了下
不过幸好大家第一次来也是这样blur

被派去luagage area 感觉不错
我的搭档形容到很轻松所以总算松了一小口气
只有2趟YOG的班机又是同时间抵达
所以大约2小时后我就坐在椅子上跷脚5小时
是有点小无聊不过我的VMs (Venue Manager)都还蛮帅的
所以有这么小小的说服力让我觉得我有留下来的原因
哈哈哈我是视觉动物 (应该是孙家遗传)
其中一个VM动作超像发哥让我想接近他的感觉
(说明一下发哥就像我无所不谈的大哥哥所以不要想歪)
不过我是慢热的人所以和他没话说所以算了

第一天工作感觉不错
至少我的自我保护意识没有之前的恐怖

看来也是时候去报名A.B.C了..

Teacher VS Student

2010-08-07T23:50:00.001+08:00

Before i start my story, i briefly explain the situation of my working place. Basically, each class have 2 teacher. One is the speaker teacher and another one is giving assistance(like a BIG student in the class).

Today, My N2 class's speaker teacher is Ms Yang. And i'm the teacher assistance. They learnt "蝴蝶" this word. Got butterfly, sure got flower. So, Ms Yang showed butterflies and flowers to the students.
Ms Yang: 小朋友们，花漂亮还是蝴蝶漂亮？
Wei Liang (Student): 老师，你最漂亮！ (Woow, so sweet!)
Ms Yang: 谢谢你呀！那杨老师(herself)漂亮还是孙老师(me)漂亮？
Wei Liang: 杨老师！
Me: 那我不要教你们了。我要回家了。(Act crying)
Ms Yang: 你惨了，你弄孙老师哭了！
Wei Liang: Then is Ms Sune prettier lo!
Ms Yang: 蛤？那我回家了。 (Act crying)
Wei Liang: Ok ok. Is Mr Yang then.
Then i acted crying again...
Wei Liang: Haizz, both of you are prettier then!
Mr Yang: Cannot, you just can choose one only. Faster choose, who is the prettier?
Wei Liang: Huh.. Hard to choose ley.. I think Ms Sune is prettier. Hmm, why your face got a thing? What's that?
Then Wei Liang pointed to the Ms Yang's mole which is on her face. I laughed out~
Ms Yang: This one is 美人痣..
Wei Liang: Teacher, you see, my leg kena mosquito bite.
Ms Yang: Ohh, don't scratch it! You see, mine one also kena mosquito bite. (Ms Yang pointed to her mole,
Lols!)

After the class, i gonna to go off. Before i left, Wei Liang ran around and found me. He was excited when he saw me looked at him at the outside of the tuition centre.
Wei Liang: Ms Sune, where are you going?
Me: Going home. (Actually i have to rush to SP for my guitar lesson)
Wei Liang: Ohh, then we 抱一抱.. (hug each other)
After hug, WeiLiang's maid urged him to go home impatiently. Seem like waiting for him a long time already.
Wei Liang: (Ignore his maid) Ms Sune, can you buy for me a transformer?
Me: Huh?? Ohh, okay okay. I try.
Wei Liang: Can you buy for me a transformer? for my birthday gift..
Me: So when's your birthday?
Wei Liang: (Don't care my question) I want the...... (request more and more toys)
Maid: Wei Liang, you want to go home anot? Your teacher wants to go home liao.
Wei Liang: Ohh okay. So Ms Sune, 我们抱一抱... (We hug again, zzzzz)
Me: Okay, must 乖乖 ya.
Wei Liang: (Continue asking his question again..)So Ms Sune, where do you live?
Me: Tampines.
Wei Liang: Huh? Where?
Maid: Your teacher have to take bus to home.
Wei Liang: Really? So which bus do you take, Mr Sune?
Me: Bus 291.
Wei Liang: So is going where?
Maid: Tampines Mart. (LOL!)
Finally, we have to go home separately. Before left, Wei Liang asked to hug again. Then we hug. When i almost reached the bus stop, I heard Wei Liang shouted to me again and ran to me and hug again. LOL!

Such a cute student. But somehow i was quite irritating of him. Because he's the most noisy!

Anyway, i like my current part time job. And 小孩们有着我已失去的纯真.. 跟他们在一起，我觉得好轻松~

Ice-Skating

2010-08-06T22:17:00.001+08:00

Honestly, it's quite cool! Long time ago, my mum urged me to learn it but i did not want because i scared pain!

Today i just went for ice-skating with cfer! Wooowww, i'm so "BRAVE"!!

Kind of regret when stepped into the skating rink. Like hell man~ Me and another 2 sisters had to hold the wall to move! I was walking like a toddler. I guess most of the people knew i'm the beginner. Cos I stared to the people who blocked my way. I not dare to skate without holding the wall. Just a while, i started to feel tired already. And i just realized my waist power was strong enough! I just almost fell down but not fell down yet haha~ Some of the CFer know how to skate already so there was their "paradise". They can skate with any pattern and in any speed they want.

After practice around an hour, i can skate a bit without holding the wall! That was so excited man!! Then brother Samuel tried to hold my hand and skate. Wooowww, i skate like the people who know how to skate sia.. Cool!!!! When i skate till a climax, i fell down! Shhhiiitttt, the way i fell down was totally ugly! Some more, i didn't know how to stand up and struggle there. Damn embarrasing man!!!

Overall, ice-skating is fun yet tiring game! Perhaps it is one of the good place i can go when i feel down. Cos i can scream there. If i become skilled at ice-skating, i can skate in any pattern with any speed i want liao! Looking forward to it~ Surely must see my wallet 1st..

Hmm, next time i must control my mood as well. Should not make myself too high. I'll feel emptiness afterward~ The excitement just tahan for a while only..

Today's homework:
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." Philippians 4:6

Random

2010-08-03T17:08:00.000+08:00

当时的稚气许下的承诺感觉好脆弱
虽然有些东西我没亲耳听到
无可否认我发现我仍抱着小小的等待

用生命去等待这种桥段像是只发生在偶像剧
也就因为有这样的偶像剧才让你才会把一切都看得美好
可能有些东西你还没得到所以你才会抓住承诺吧

请原谅我或许自我保护意识过强
有些承诺真的让我无法置信

当知道有人和你一起在努力的时候那种感觉也挺不错的!!!

Festival of Praise (FOP)

2010-08-01T01:38:00.001+08:00

最近参加好多这种类型的聚会
不懂的人还以为我有多属灵...

本没想要去
不过因为有听过Don Moen的专辑
再加上有姐妹问我虽然最后被他放飞机
所以我去也是我第一次来到了新加坡室内体育馆

没带什么期盼到那里
只打算带着一个去做做观众的心情
所以对于这个聚会也没多大的感想好说

好多好多的人涌进体育馆真的多得让我无法想象
这不时让我好奇了大家来的目的是什么
是真的要在这里遇见神吗?
还是只是一时的High?
又或者是只想一睹自己喜欢的歌手风采?

自从上次的赞美之泉让我反思了不少
很多人都是因为人而来而不是因为神
因为人是看得到摸得到神是看不到摸不到凭的是信心
这么热诚的追求他们试问自己可有这么热诚的追求神?
如果没有仿佛对神就不公平了同时也达不到了整个聚会的宗旨

不管怎样很开心让我遇到了非基督徒
让我有这样的机会向她传福音
不知道他的信心之路会走得怎样
也不知道我是否还有机会遇见她
不过我相信她能听到能接触就是神给她的恩典了
希望有一天能和她一起正式的敬拜神!!

祝福你, 我的姐妹!!
还有谢谢你介绍的中国晚餐!!
虽然真的辣到让我受不了,不过你的心意我心领了! =)

古典音痴

2010-07-31T02:31:00.001+08:00

Exploring Classical Music 足以让我一整天进入痴呆状态
要从一首首听不懂的音乐寻找作曲编故事的灵感
好奇当时的我怎么会选这个作我的elective module
不过最起码比几个死党选日语课来的好多了

被逼用S$28来买门票的古典音乐会

本来我是不用付这么多的
在我去音乐会前我去了YOG总部拿制服
怎知这么远这么偏僻再加上那里的服务速度有点小慢
拖了我的时间只好搭的士去音乐会的士费S$15.70(心疼死~)

现场蛮壮观一切也都如我想象
来的多数是外国人只是没想到老婆婆老公公对这些也有兴趣
有一点点音乐底子的我本以为我可以听得懂这么一点点
结果没有他们总共演奏了5首曲可是对我而言那只是一首曲
一首怎么听也听不懂的曲像是小提琴乱乱拉的曲
(因为位子太前面，我的眼里只有小提琴手，看不到其他乐器)

看着那些小提琴手拉得好陶醉
头乱摇手乱动
我却看着他们的谱期待他们翻到谱子的最后一页
叫我去显得浪费不过我想他们也不在意因为浪费也是我出钱 -.-''''

一直看着指挥员走进走出舞台上鞠了不懂多少个躬
每一首曲结束后指挥员就走进后台
过了几秒又出来出来的还是同一个指挥员
无聊捏!!! 好像很忙酱~~~

这是我第一次在一个场合上拍最多次手
而且每一次拍手时间是超长的
一直拍一直拍一直拍
人家拍手可能是觉得他们演奏得太好
我拍手只是因为人家拍所以我拍够礼貌吧!!

现在需要用英文写关于这个演奏会的报告字约700
听不懂他们在玩什么就算了英文都不是很好的我完蛋了
叫我写华文都未必有办法写到700个字更何况英文
哎哎哎我可以寻求支援吗?

Expectation

2010-07-21T20:55:00.002+08:00

"Have you ever had expectations that did not get fulfilled? Perhaps a coworker let you down. Perhaps you were trusting God for something in your life that never materialized. Perhaps you became devastated by an unmet expectation that you felt you were entitled to."

Everyday, i receive email which contains with God's words and prayer. Sometimes, it's very surprising when receive it with a title that may related to my current life. Feel like God talks to me face by face. And yeap, i feel good!

I have a lot of expectation lately, even more and more greedy. I hope everything should be and must be in my hand. I cannot tolerate with any flaw. However, seem like God is trying to oppose against me. What i put higher expectation to, i cannot get it easily. Hence, i frustrated! I despair! "Why? How come? It's unfair to me! Does God still be my side?" i really think about these! I even blame God! I scream to Him like a kid scream to her mum when her mum doesn't want to buy the toys to her. I cry like a baby.

Despite of these, He never gives me up. He just wants me to surrender everything to Him. I seem like lost everything yet He gives me more than these. I'm always graceful and blessful. And i thank God for giving me a chance to learn what is receive by faith. We cannot predict our future but God is my life guarantor. He sends me guardian angels to guide and protect me.

"Yes!Yes!Yes!" Trying to give this response when someone is asking your help no matter you think you are not able to do. But just you not able to do. It doesn't means God is not able to do! Cos nothing is impossible to Him! And of course, it's my homework too!

I need Your mercy, Lord!
Please show me where I am wrong and give me the wisdom, courage, and conviction to repent and to always do what is right.
On my bed I remember you; I think of you through the watches of the night.

新加坡的"A4J"

2010-06-23T15:08:00.000+08:00

By right, i was not willing to come Singapore. Cos a long journey will make me very tiring. Anyway, i went in.

Reached there, saw every CF member seemed very sian sian one. Sian liao lor, i think. Just sat there for a while, ChiaLing and Enjun came to tell me they want to leave soon. ZZZzzzzzz.. What the heck i come in Singapore?? After that, Enjun told me have Pastor Philip Mantofa's conference tonight, tmr n wed. I guess this is the one reason that i can pursuade myself luckily i come in. Otherwise, Enjun may not tell me this news. And i'll lost a chance again. (Last year i was kinda sad due to i was still having school during the period of A4J.)

Excited. And i told to my mum once i back home. So next day (which is yesterday), my parents n sisters came to join the conference. It was too bad cos the translator unable to translate to mand well. Hence, my parents can't get any things from there.

Today morning, i went to the church again for the discipline's training. Free admission. Surely i won't let the chance go. It taught by Pastor Philip Mantofa. He shared a lot of testimonies. Very very amazing!!!! What i really really feel grateful is i saw the fire of revival start burning in Singapore. Recall back when i just stepped into Singapore, i told the people about revival. They all looked blur. Totally no idea about this. Now, i witness many Singaporeans gather together to cry out for themselves and own country, even foreigners come to pray together too!! It's awesome!!!

Sometimes, i keep controling myself. Why? I seem like crazy over this pastor. But i think his's true heart towards Jesus is a main reason he attracts me. I hope i can have a warm-hearted like him. The fire keep burning and burning. Mug God's words again and again. Stands firm in Christ no matter what. Witness God shows His miracles once again and again. I like to have every single things which is about God. Listen to God, even when He's whispering. Humble and obey God's plan. All of these is what i desire of now. But i know some part of my heart still very dry. Yet i'm finding my water resource.

Every outcomes come from truly desire. God, i really desire you!!!!! I pray i can keep desire you every singel day. My desire never ever paused in this post, is keep continue in my every SINGLE day!!!!

挫败感

2010-06-15T23:19:00.000+08:00

最近老是做错事
要不然就是做不成事

常有的成就感就这样不告而别
挫败感快将我窒息

控告声一而再的提醒我的挫败
好大声好大声

这一次我的发泄方式失灵了
睡觉也赶不走它--挫败感

而我现在比较想找个真正了解我的人的耳朵..

浪子的信

2010-06-12T01:43:00.002+08:00

家曾对我而言
是种束缚
我宁可在外头溜达
也不想回到那个地方

外头的花花世界看起来多漂亮
自由不断向我招手
我是多么期待的向它涌去

终于你答应让我出去闯世界
我得到了我以为是自由的“自由”
我学尽了我以为是“酷”的事情
我渡过了我以为是“充实”的糜烂生活

你伤心为我掉了许多眼泪
但你没有阻止我因为你爱我

渐渐地我开始厌倦自己的生活
回头望白发苍苍的你仍对我微笑
但我知道你已被我伤害得伤痕累累

在你身上我找到了我要的温暖
在你身上我开始明白家的意义
我决定了我是时候回家了

妈妈对不起我爱你

当时,我和你...

2010-06-12T01:41:00.001+08:00

相片定格了当时的我们

昔日的我们笑得好灿烂
每日拾掇那些的回忆
缀成片片断断的思量

稚气的我们纯纯的友谊
用尽了年轻的活力与狂野
一块在球场大声欢呼
一块为某个男生疯狂
一块叽叽喳喳大声笑
一块在上课时打呼噜
地球每天在自转太阳依然在自焚
时间滴滴答答走岁月一去不留人
如今的我们已决分道扬镳
独自到世界某个角落
继续彩绘自己的天空
有人说
成长是痛苦的累积
也是一条崎岖不平的道路
我却说
纵使满众荆棘我也不怕
因为有你才让我的生活从此精彩
正因为
生命就像一朵绽放的花
虽然没有动人的外观
却有散发香味的时候
生命不一定要轰轰烈烈
最重要的是能刻苦铭心

我们都长大了

2010-06-11T22:55:00.002+08:00

我想我们都长大了
那时的疯狂大家都一笑置之
之前的误会就这样被淡忘掉

或许你的任性依然还在
但至少你清楚知道你有负担了

时间真的证明了一切
也选对了时间揭露一切
之前的谜不再是个谜
而我也这样坦然接受了

那时的身份始终尴尬
但幸好我是后知后觉
原来"blur"也是有好处的
到了最后你还是被她屈服了
结局至少也不是太烂

最后你会不会请我不再重要
因为我们都知道
我们之间除了那时的回忆就只剩回忆

我想或许可能那是我最后一次回去了....

My home, my country

2010-06-06T00:05:00.002+08:00

Most of the Malaysians speak bad about Malaysia after they came to Singapore. When you try to ask them whether they love their country, they always give you a similar answer. "I love my country, but my country doesn't love me." How come?

1. Because they failed to get scholarship but his/her friends whose result worse get it easily.
2. Malaysia's political and social too dark. (If you're Malaysian, surely you know that though you might not have habit of reading newspaper.)
3. Dislike involved in the different race groups. (Perhaps had some bad experience before.)

And many other reasons...

When i just came to Singapore, i was quite sensitive with the words which related to "Malaysia", even now. Mostly i heard is about how bad Malaysia is. Kinda sad, actually. My home country failed to give a good image to foreigners, even those who are Malaysians are still trying persuade foreigners don't go to Malaysia due to there is unsafe place.

Why not we think in another way? We don't ever have any choice to born in which country. Perhaps we can change our nationality when we are adult. But have you try to think deeply about that may have some beautiful reasons why you born in this country? God always done His job with a wonderful reason behind and He won't explain to you why he did that for you.

Usually, our prayer center on ourselves. We request God give us things/results that we want. Blame God, complain everything when our demands never satisfied. But we never ever give a thought that the things that God gives to us is a lesson? We always complain a lot about our country. Why not we pray for our country always? Believe God, He'll transform Malaysia one day? Perhaps God is waiting for Malaysians' cry out for own country!!!!! So don't hestitate or underestimate your prayer. Just cry out once a year better than you never ever do that!!

"Do you love ur home coutry?" Yes, i am. Forever and ever. Though it seems like unlovable now. And i still believe that i'll see the revival in Malaysia one day, now and ever. Because my God is Big Big God!!! :D

Deeply Feel..

2010-06-05T23:12:00.001+08:00

It supposed to fill with my complaints again at first. But God is amazing in every time. He let me busy with something to calm down before i have time to post my blog.

I know there has something wrong inside me. Angry? Frustrate? Desperate? Psychological imbalance? I not sure. I just feel something bad inside.

Due to i'm the youngest among them, so that they treat me like a little sister? So they have to tolerate my everything which related to me? Think i should feel grateful for this kind of treatment more than complaint it. Yet i can't get used to it!! In the past, i always be the da-jie-da(leader) like that. In home church, in group, at home, even sometimes in school, i seldom be the smallest. Perhaps God is putting me into this place and let me feel as well?

Honestly, i feel tough in the sharing time. Why? Because everyone share their experience in eng. When is my turn, bro & sis will tell me:"Joyce, you can speak in chinese!". Perhaps i should think in this way, as in they just don't want me become stress? It's just a concern? Actually, i rather have someone give me chance to speak eng and correct me when i'm in wrong in pronounce or what than indulge me. Anyway, i know the day will coming. I believe, God will gives me His beautiful things in His time!!!!

I just realise currently i tend to be a listener than a speaker. In the fellowship, i always be a listener. It's quite tough for me, actually. Cause previously i can just talked talked talked what i wanted to say. Perhaps it's also one of the homework that God give me to learn? It's the time for me learn to quiet? However, in some part of my feeling, i felt that i not really get involved in the fellowship though i joined them to Austin's trip. Our relationship just built in the surface of friendship only and that's all!! Why? Due to time gathering is not enough yet? I'm still waiting for an answer for this................

Anyway, i was glad because
1. Finally, i ate grapes!!! It tastes nice!!!(it had been a long long time since i ate grapes last time)
2. Finally, i went for K!!! Though the people who went with me is not you all..
3. Finally, i went to HARRIS where is located at Tebrau!!!!! If i don't have guitar lesson and not need to be a pianist in service tmr, i know i won't be back with them and stay there till i satisfy. And i hope i have a lot of cash in my hands to buy the books that i want at once. But so sad, too poor recently. Forget it!! ='(

And this journey makes me looking forward to FMC family trip more and more RIGHT NOW!!!!!

*I just realise you're really not my taste.*

A lesson

2010-05-24T22:27:00.001+08:00

Suddenly feel that someone who really know me had gone.
Suddenly feel that i'm alone all the way.
Wonder why i have this feeling..

At a time, i started dislike him. Hmm, maybe from the time we had dinner? Maybe from the time he did some irritating things? No idea. I just know i have some uncomfortable feeling when i stand on same space, breathing the same air with him.

In some things, i know i'm very independant. I have my own decision and naturally hope everyone will do all the things as i thought. Erm, i admit i'm quite stubborn and proud. (Lord have mercy!! =( ) So when someone is trying against me, i'll feel irritating but i wouldn't show it up and just remain silent.

Perhaps i was biased against him. Perhaps he just wants to warm up the atmosphere. But i can't take it with his joke. At first, i laughed cos i felt it's a good joke. But now, i felt it's lame, really.

I know my condition so i never took over the group leader. I know i can go to catch up to the brother and say "hi" before i went into the room. But not, i never do that cos i can't. Before split into groups, i was praying dun same group with him. So sad i end up same group with him. Perhaps God wants me learn to obey. 100% unwillingly join into the group. I know i can comment, as in elaborating my answer, but i not! I was using a simple way to share my answer (My answer not more than 5 lines).

"Do you have any complain in your ministry?" Yes. I have. Cos this post is fulling with my complains!!! Just now i can't share my answer. But even if i can share, i don't think i'll share it. Perhaps i should put down my bias and using right attitude re-treat him.

可能或许我是丑陋的......

GOD HAVE MERCY!!!!!!!

Awesome Day

2010-05-15T12:00:00.001+08:00

Today is awesome day!!!!!!

First thing is i slept at 9pm yesterday and i woke up at 7.30am today. The feeling was so great!! So long time i never had such a good sleep after my school reopen. Always tired like hell.. Stress, stress and stress. That's why it makes me quite miss my m'sia life so much, especially secondary school life. No stress, play, slacking, ponteng, have fun in school even in the exam period. Hence, when people come to ask me how can i enter to poly, i usually tell them that is God's grace. Cause i really don't think my result can get into poly since i never put lot of efforts in my SPM.

A lot of people in the train when i went school. Finally found a seat. Just sat a while, got a voice asked me to give up the seat. I looked around and shocked. Really got a auntie who looks around 60++ years old walked into the train. Surely i gave up that seat immediately. When a guy who sat beside the auntie left, the auntie asked me sat beside her. I refused but she insisted on. So i went to sat beside her. When she prepared to alight from the train, she said "Jesus loves you." to me. I stunned there. Honestly, i was troubled with a lot of things recently. My faith started 动摇.. Seem like this words remind me once again, Lord is faithfulness. He will provides me everything.

God never fail to implement his promise. He showed His faithfulness again. He makes impossible to possible. Actually, the "big" problem that i faced before God shows His faithfulness is my living expense. Because i just have less than $50 for my meals in this month. Can you imagine your purse just has around $50 and you still got 1 month to go? Surely i worry of it! I don't want tell my parents. Don't want be their burden since they are also over-spent in this few months. However, God really shows His grace to me. My 2nd aunt asked me send money to her son but got something popped out. Then my 2nd aunt asked me to keep it. So my living expense should be okay now. Thank God!!

After went to astronomy club with jiafeng and siying, i prepared to back home. I ran into YanQiu who is from CF. Quite surprise when i saw her. Still remember that our 1st meet is in the CCA fiesta. That time, i suppose to go toilet. But when i saw her, got a voice asked me to intro about CF to her. So i ran back to took the flyer and started approach her. From the beginning, she threw everything out that she doesn't like go to church though she is a christian. But she felt we are interesting so end up she signed up. Thank God that she really join in CF!! Then we took bus together, as in she lives at Bedok and i live at Tampines so that we can take same bus all the way back home. Chat a lot and met her dad also!!!! So coincidence!! Enjun said seems like God really put me and her together. Maybe so.. Probably something special between me and her? I'm looking forward to how God leads us..

Anyway, full of thanksgiving.. Today is an AWESOME day to me!!!!!

我怀念的

2010-05-06T11:50:00.001+08:00

我怀念的是
那时的我们一块在运动会上表演
我怀念的是
那时的我们总是不顾旁人的高歌
我怀念的是
那时的我们为"屋顶"在makmal排练
我怀念的是
我们下课一块走去食堂吃nasi lemak+鸡腿
我怀念的是
我们在那马来档口买零食汉堡包
我怀念的是
我说我很热有人告诉我脱衣咯
我怀念的是
我帮某人跟他的情人传简讯
我怀念的是
我们轮流奚落对方的时光
我怀念的是
我们一起在上课时趴在桌上就呼呼大睡起身时已经换节了
我怀念的是
我们总在老师不在课室时就开始移椅子聚在一块小声说大声笑
我怀念的是
我们说好要一块绕学校装好心帮老师
我怀念的是
我们一起找交通回家也总是会有人载我们回家
我怀念的是
我们一块嫌弃有人一提起东方神奇的时候
我怀念的是
我们一块望出窗外看男人
我怀念的是
我们一块开心的聊男人 38彼此的事情
我怀念的是
我们说好明天出去结果大家都在放飞机
我怀念的是
那时的我们一出门就是吃pizza hut
我怀念的是
我们莫名其妙有了大便国的非法组织
我怀念的是
我们偷偷把迟交的功课塞进学生作业里
我怀念的是
老师说做好作业才能回家我们就已从后门溜回家了
我怀念的是
考试的那个早上我们都是猛啃书一群临时抱佛脚的家伙..

总是有好多无厘头的话题
让我们这样嘻嘻哈哈的一块度过了5年
我们的5年时光
就这样无意的被我这个长情的人挑起

谢谢你们
让我猛然发现原来让我最深刻的回忆是我的中学生涯

我好想回到那时的我们每天穿着一样的制服
到学校就会看到大家的那段时光........
朋友,可不可以有一天我们一块出门时是大家都到齐的?

开学

2010-04-30T16:45:00.001+08:00

开学2个星期再也不像以前
才开始几天就一大堆的东西要做
尤其那些功课显显显.........

programming....
每天没意义的抄老师已经给的答案
听老师讲课似懂非懂般

Anyway,终于有一些是可以算算算的了
我的兴趣.... 就算那只是占了这么一小部分

psychology 我选的并没预期中的喜欢
或许这个module只是教几个月罢了
所以都教些比较general的东西
看着那些theory 我是confuse的咯...........
自己的问题也不少或许该尝试抛开自己某些感受

最近活动不少时间表都差不多安排到6月去了...
分身乏术即将操练到最高境界

这是我的祷告词--
主,不要离弃我..我需要你..求你赐给我力量勇敢向前..我愿意顺服接受并感恩你所给我的

现实

2010-04-13T17:58:00.001+08:00

超级补习中心的真相
[转载]

#如果你现在待在超级，那我真诚的希望你能看完我写的东西。

#如果你现在待在超级，你成绩很好你有很大的理想，那我更真心诚意的期望你看完我写的东西!

#如果你现在待在超级，你觉得家人朋友劝你离开他们很可恶他们根本不懂你觉得很好的超级是怎样的，那我真的真的真的很希望你可以看完我写的东西！！

通常超级会告诉你们网上面写他们不好的人，是其他补习中心的人看超级很利害恶意诋毁他们的，可是我告诉你，我是一个成绩很好，有着很大很大理想，进去超级后一直以为超级很好，现在出来后领悟到很多的人！

没有人可以让你认清，我也没有要你离开超级，只是我希望你好好思考，不要被超级的金钱权利诱惑，如果你了解后你觉得超级就是你要的人生，那我很为你开心因为也许你以后不会后悔，如果你的梦想根本不是那样，那我真的很诚心很诚心的希望你看完我的部落，不然，未来某一天，你会很痛苦很痛苦很。

超级象个邪教，他们口才很好很会灌输你，把你的性格彻底改变，没有人能让你认清，没有人能影响你对超级的感觉，只有你自己！
超级让我失去了很多东西....

=离开超级后，我才发现，待在超级那么久我的朋友都离开我了.....

=离开超级后，我才发现，我的升学之路已经少了很多选择，因为我错过了stpm，我错过了matriculasi,我更不知道，我的梦想，出国留学，是否还能达成....

=离开超级后，我才发现，我差一点点就失去了我最真诚的心....

离开超级后，我才发现，我待在超级时有多么不快乐，名利根本就是虚无的东西.....

=离开超级后，我才发现，我更勇敢了！离开超级是我活到现在，自己做过最对的决定！

在决定离开超级的前几天，我为了一些虚伪的人哭了好久，她怎么可以那样？为什么活着一定要为了利益？这种事都做得出来？然后我朋友突然问我：why u everyday look so sad de?我才突然醒来，我根本就快得忧郁症了！

虽然我现在对前途有点迷茫，不过，有一天我一定要show给超级看，什么样才叫成功！

我要寻找的是生命的感动，我要付出的是真诚！我才不要成为钱的奴隶！

超级让你出车的真正目的
从你第一脚踏进超级，他们就会告诉你：来这里的人很快就可以出车了。
一般人当然是双眼发亮！不要说你，我当时也是，因为我以为，新年我可以架车回去，那样子爸爸在亲戚面前多骄傲啊！
然后你也会以为，哇，在18岁可以出车耶！怎么那么利害啊！

为什么可以出车？
先跟你谈谈你薪水吧....

我告诉你，这些根本不算什么！
你先想想你的工作时间吧，我告诉你，我从早上8:30分做到晚上10点，有时开会开到凌晨一点多，而很多时候，就是准备资料，没有凌晨1点根本不用睡。那时我一心想着我要努力，一心以为努力就会有结果..........

可是你知道我工作时间那么长，拜六还在工作，得到的薪水是多少吗？几乎每次都只是一千左右！现在你是第一年老师，你告诉我你薪水有超过1千5，那是不可能的！除非你有17个A或者你stpm拿5A!如果你成绩有8个A，那你有rm1200我认同你，而你少过8个A，那你告诉我你薪水超过rm1000我不相信！

而为什么拿那么低的薪水你还那么相信超级？因为超级在制造“每个大老师薪水都很高”的印象给你！我告诉你，除非你要一辈子留在超级然后去开分院然后一天做完24小时工作赚钱然后一直想要怎样骗学生你才会有他们所谓的“高薪”，不然就算你留在超级没有开分院，就算你第4年了，你的薪水还是1500－2000左右的！重点是，你的工作时间根本就是每天早上8:30到晚上10:00甚至到凌晨，还有拜六礼拜都有工作和开会！

你想想你把你全部的时间都给了超级，薪水有1500-2000，你觉得真的只值那么少吗？？

总结：超级要找学校刚毕业的员工，因为他们underpay你们时，你们根本不知道自己根本只是个廉价劳工！为什么你们会心甘情愿花那么多时间帮他们工作而又愿意接受那么少的薪水？
因为：超级一直在包装他们自己，告诉你待下去未来几年你的薪水一定很高，而你也傻傻相信着！而未来如果你薪水并没有很高，超级会灌输你是因为你不够努力，而你就会觉得薪水还是那么低的问题是出在自己身上了！这是超级的心机！

再根你谈谈出车吧.........

你真的以为你18岁可以架着一辆车真的有多利害？答案：no!
基本上如果你中五毕业后你不打算继续升学，就只打算继续工作，就算你做的只是餐馆，一个月薪水＋commision少少都有1200++，你都有能力架着很多超级老师在架的VIVA!

为什么？第一，在超级出车头期大概是4千左右，而超级为了要让你觉得它真的很好通常会“很好心”帮你贴一半的价钱！可是他们真的很好吗？在你第你1年帮他们工作时，薪水那么少时间那么长，现在他帮你贴个两千左右，你觉得你有赚到吗？？
而一个月还车期＋车油，大概是5、6百.......
所以你真的觉得你架着一两VIVA真的很利害吗？你真的觉得你比你朋友都利害，只有你架车他们没有吗？答案：No!!不是你朋友没有能力买车，是他们要不要而已！

那你说你学院的朋友呢？那些你鄙视他们无能的学院朋友，什么还在谈学院life、爱情、友情.....而不想你那么利害已经可以架车已经在工作了，你真的觉得你比你的那些朋友幸运和利害吗？

分析你的未来：
1.你25岁时，你的生活就是工作工作工作工作！名利名利名利名利！你身边已经没有真诚的朋友了！甚至你和你家人之间也没有什么沟通了！你每天每天的时间都奉献给超级！你每天都在想工作，追求名车！还有炫耀你自己，看不起别人，以为你真的是世界上最幸福的人，你根本是个工作的奴隶！
2.你更不可能离开超级了，因为你根本没有真正的大学文凭！出去超级后，在真正的社会是这样的：没有学士学问的人就算坐在高位子，薪水还是低的，尤其是大公司，可能你坐的位子是总经理，薪水应该是rm6000，可是你只会拿到rm3000!这是真正的社会！
3.你就是那种戏剧里面会为了名利而不择手段的人！你想想你在超级工作，你真的觉得他们的运作方式对吗？他们说了多少谎话？你真的觉得，对吗？

分析你朋友的未来：
1.我告诉你，你最好不要看不起读拉曼的人(超级里很多人都会批评自己的朋友只读拉曼)，现在新加玻很喜欢拉曼的毕业生，因为拉曼的大学生很多都是很勤劳的(超级的人会说他们拉曼的朋友根本就没有在读书什么什么的，这要看人了，你们超级的老师成绩应该没有很好所以混到那些不喜欢读书的朋友，当然会看到朋友那样了)
2.你的朋友学院毕业以后，起薪通常都有2000++左右，而且他们工作的时间通常是半天而已，不用象你那样工作到半命！
3.你的朋友也有能力买车，看他们自己要不要而已。
4.你的朋友可以享受什么是生命，和朋友之间的感动！他们不会象你的心已经比名利控制了，他们还有一颗美丽的心！
5.他们拥有的是青春的感动！这一点绝对是你买不到的！我告诉你，不要觉得这种感动很可笑很幼稚，通常人死前，不会后悔自己没有把工作做好，而是自己没有追求梦想，而是自己生命没有告诉谁谁谁什么事！

结论：你根本是个工作的傀儡，不是吗？你每天不是都在想怎么讨好人怎么升职吗？这样活着真的很快乐吗？追求物质，真的就是你要的生命吗？

你可以出车根本就不是一件很利害的事！你的朋友没有出车，只是他们不要而已！就算去餐馆做工也是可以架你引以为傲的VIVA/MYVI的！

超级鼓励你出车的原因....

=我想可以“出车”这一点，是很多人第一年决定留在超级的原因吧！超级抓住了人的弱点：虚荣心！你自己思考，难道你没有被这个吸引吗？你工作得那么累那么辛苦薪水又那么少，为什么愿意留下来？就是出车！所以，这是超级的手段！

=培养你的虚荣心！超级要培养你的“觉得自己很利害”的心态，因为那样你才会觉得留在超级很成功！可是我告诉你，一个人的意义不代表别人对你的眼光是那样，就象你穿上了一件衣服，你一心觉得我好漂流噢！那全部人就会觉得你很漂亮吗？你觉得自己很美，全部人就会觉得你很美吗？答案：No!
所以说得难听一点：你根本就是个骄傲的小丑！

=你问你自己，是不是无时无刻都在根你以前的朋友做比较然后暗爽，在那里鄙视你的朋友很幼稚，不象你那么利害可以架着一辆车了？
超级就是要你有这种心理！那样你就会和你的朋友断绝来往，你就不会被外界的话语影响，你就不会离开超级了，甚至把全部的时间心甘情愿奉献给超级！你却还一心以为自己活在高品质的世界，你朋友是在一个普通的世界！
你就象一个人把自己关在屋子里，一心觉得自己的屋子是洋房好利害，让后嘲笑你在外面在草场上放风筝很快乐的朋友，其实你不知道，你的屋子根本就只是个排屋！

=出了车过后，你要怎样离开超级呢？特别是如果你的家境贫穷。你成绩很好，你工作得好累想离开，想去学院读书，现在有着一辆车了，你还会离开吗？答案：通常不会!
你架车炫耀习惯了，你还舍得放弃你的车，回到最初最真诚的你吗？不会，就象一个女生习惯化妆出门，你要她不化妆，她很难做到。
所以，你根本不会离开超级！因为超级一直让你感觉“留在超级会很成功”(之后会详说为什么会有这种感觉，这只是一个包装，一个谎言)，所以你根本不会换公司，或者说不敢换公司，因为你不敢拿未来来打赌！

=出车后，你的虚荣心被培养后，你会怎样呢？性格改变！你会越来越追求物质，你会看不起你的朋友，你会变成一个骄傲的小丑！
你的世界里，只要钱钱钱！
根你一起生活的，不再是真诚的感动，而是利益利益利益！

你是一个骄傲，追求名利和物质，还有思考怎么去讨好别人的人！

我告诉你，那些被你看不起的人，会思考怎么去把爱献给需要关心的弱者，

而对社会有贡献的，绝对不是你，而是你看不起的那些人！

所以，你真的觉得你有车，很利害吗？你真的觉得你的生活方式，真的比其他人更有意义吗？

关于超级所谓的半工半读
超级的学院全是自己弄的！！下面有步骤一一告诉你！

我在spm考获很好的成绩，我就是被半工半读吸引去的，因为我家境不好也住在比较乡下的地方，对升学完全没有什么资讯。

去的时候，对，他们就象对你们那样告诉我，可以拿新加玻文凭，新加玻文凭是受世界承认的，然后告诉我马来西亚的学院的教育素质很烂，进去的人是去享受school life的，没有进取心的人才会去读的。

然后他们会告诉你读stpm是去自杀!!读stpm会压力到满脸豆豆每天每天读书...到最后进不到国立大学根本是在浪费两年时间....(可是我告诉你真相，真正懂和读过的人会告诉你，就算stpm没进到大学，也不是浪费两年时间，因为stpm已经训练了你更成熟的的思考方式，而且在大学里，读过stpm的人基本上会比读大学先修班的人更利害)

他们还会说，很多他们的朋友进了stpm后都没有好下场bla bla bla.......

然后他们会告诉你，当学校老师很可怜啊～什么工作都给你做～薪水很低啊～blablabla~
(真相:不管你是小学还是中学老师，只要你有degree资格，薪水至少都有2000++，工作时间短，可以四处旅行享受长长的有薪假期~)

然后你就进去了.......2010年学院的报名费是$300!!相等于RM700++~
你看了下面的真相后，你在思考这钱是否值得........

超级的学院运作方式：（有些是我皇后分院的朋友告诉我的)

＝全是自己弄的！由JB区皇后总院及perling分院负责！

＝你们去新加玻上课，会在租来的一个礼堂上课，他们会告诉你因为学生太多学校教师无法容纳，但我告诉你，根本没有校园！如果你去过校园，那是别人的！超级是要让你相信他，所以根别人租了一个校园来让你拍照留念一天

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我看了这篇文章，我真的只有庆幸的感觉。差一点我就变成他们的羊。他们的口才真的会挑起人的欲望和贪恋。不信，你可以看http://minigarden0522.blogspot.com/2009/02/blog-post_15.html。

老实说，有个父母告诉我她的孩子在超级补习，我的表情会很冷静，其实心里大声喊OH NO!!
为什么？因为就算一个不是很厉害读书的人，考试几乎不及格，他也可以成为那里的老师。条件是他同意去他们所谓的"大学"深造，就这么简单。这样的教育学准，可想而知，会有多好？

幸好父母的大力反对，再加上老哥帮我打听消息，不然现在的我，欲哭无泪.........

最重要的是，我想是上帝的保守，让我逃出了恶魔的手掌心....

结婚

2010-04-11T23:15:00.001+08:00

有段时间尝试假想体验自己即将结婚的心情
也曾在梦里梦过自己即将结婚
觉得... 那样的快乐好沉重
穿上婚纱面对亲朋好友满满的祝福成为那一天最漂亮的女人
卸下婚纱面对的就是建立一个家的责任
经济必须开始独立以后的每件事就不再是只有"自己"的事了

有时在想 18,19岁就走上红地毯的女生会是带着怎样的心情面对她前面的路
应该还在玩的时候就要背负不符年龄的重担
做好妈妈做好媳妇做好老婆或许还要做职场上的女人
不简单真的不简单......

或许从小到大我家就不是很有钱
很多口也很多手
以前爸爸妈妈经常为了经济问题吵架
有时妈妈会看住那叠薪水发呆
遇到什么突发状况说真的是没有多余的钱可以应付
看到家里这样余心不忍 Form4就出来半工半读
明白那种家里的重担会真的很难扛

如果说老公真的有很好的经济上又真的很体贴很体贴的
那很好那个女人结了婚后或许会很幸福可能比之前更幸福

如果说结了婚后经济能力不是很好甚至没办法独立
最后要两口子每天maggi mee为三餐
别人出去买一个月的杂货我们出去是买一个月的maggi mee
那样的生活要怎样过我真的难以想象

婚纱可以很漂亮爱情也可以很甜蜜
可是背后的代价却是无法预测的重

有时看到自己身边的朋友为男人放弃前途
我真的为他们感到心疼很想很想洗她的脑
可是这是她们的选择能奈何?

妈妈听了我的想法笑着说我想太多可能嫁不出去了
或许吧 ......... 呵呵

人体化学

2010-04-11T12:05:00.001+08:00

有的时候真的不明白那两个人为什么在一起
明明就觉得不配
但两者之间却被互相吸引

有的时候真的不明白那两个人为什么没在一起
明明就觉得很配
但两者之间却不被吸引

曾经一度被你吸引
也曾经一度怀疑自己为何会被你吸引
或许你那时的出现这么恰好的hit到我当时的"口味"

你的一通电话不否认真的蛮惊讶
没意义的话题几分钟的电话草草的挂断
声音依旧明白某些感觉已经不在

曾经你的销声匿迹现在你的唐突出现
是否藏着任何目的我不想多猜
至少我知道如果有天我们见面
我可以毫不疙瘩地和你说声"嗨!"

不能握的手却比爱人更长久
当所有如果都没有如果
只有失去的拥有最永久

我姑且相信你的红炸弹....

Who brings me there!?

2010-04-10T14:40:00.001+08:00

After CF outing, i supposed to take train back home. Then a voice came to my ears to remind me go cell group which started at 8pm in church. I can reached there in time. But i was not willing to go!! Undoubtedly, i had my excuse that i considered as reasonable and enough to persuade me don't go.

"I'm very tired! And my gum damn pain. I need rest! blah blah blah..!@#$%#@.."

So... i can take bath.. online for a while. At last, go sleep. Yea, that's my plans later.

So i alighted at Eunos. Cos there has direct bus towards to my house. Some more, i take bus concession and i don't want waste it!!

On the bus and began feeling weird. Cos as usual the bus i took always got many passengers. Especially always no seat in this time! How come... Anyway, i have seat is the most important for me right now. So i just enjoyed with myself and had some reflection of my life in the bus(Is my habit).

Gosh.. The bus took me to a unfamiliar place. Read the road sign. Gosh again! I never saw it before. Where i am now???! I pressed the button and get off immediately. Zzzzz, i took wrong bus.. I took bus 61 and actually i had to take bus 67.

Went to the opposite road and supposed to took bus 61 back to the original place. Faint, don't have bus 61?!!! Then i took bus 62 which i not really confirmed with this bus's direction. This bus took me to Aljunied Road(bus stop which located in front of my church)!! I shocked, REALLY!! I end up back to church!!

I get off the bus and go to the cell group eventually. I was still puzzled though i was in the cell group. Who brings me there? God? Guess so.. Amazing, isn't it?

I trust God has His own reason for whatever He had done. So i asked God what He supposed me to learn, to know, to feel..

Fellowship, i think... God showed me that i have commitment in NPCF. In these few days, i was bothered with how to have a good bonding with brothers and sisters through events, how to attract more people come to join the fellowship, and etc.... Meanwhile, i not so active in my church event unless have my "closer friend" accompany me.

How to be my "closer friend"? I guess is quite hard if wanna to be a "closer friend" with me, unless u never give up to talk with me though i din give you too much responses, even shrugged. I not initiative like before. Maybe is the result of my past experiences. I rather choose either let people come to approach with me or i shut myself in a corner. It makes me uncomfortable if i take the initiative. I'll have many thoughts from men when he/she gives me some facial expressions which not as i expected.

So now, i know i ought to have a big breakthrough in this. Maybe i need put some efforts in connecting with people. Hope i can have a good job in Him!!

意外惊喜

2010-04-02T17:29:00.001+08:00

这份礼物真的很意外
妈妈听到送花的人是谁时笑了很久
我表姨和老爸听到了后一直警惕我要小心点
最后影响了我妈我妈怪我为什么收下

哎哟, 当时的情况真的很不得已
不断解释没人理会
算了本来还担心那男生会被我妈捉弄
不过也好我想我妈应该也不敢弄他了吧
他也不用绕道回家哈哈

开始好奇那种单恋一个人几十年的心情是怎样
有点不踏实.............

CF FOC 2010

2010-03-24T02:09:00.002+08:00

Yup, finally CF FOC 2010 is going to end.

Through this camp, i can see how God's work. How to say? Hmm, be frank, i very worry about this camp. Since someone told me that FOC not really got too many people sign up.. Then many problems came out by last minute. Seriously, it was a big trouble for me. But God's grace, He reminded me the power of pray through sis Eng Ing and bro Titus.

When i got the name list of the FOC camp, 26 persons signed up! 7 persons are freshmen. 3 of the freshmen are going to NP year 1. The main point is 4 of them are non-christians. Even though our target of the person who sign up are 40 persons, but God has His own plan. He arrange them come to join us. I trust it's not simply convenience.

Play play play all the time. Had fun. Had good bonding in Big Family. And can share God's words with sisters and brothers. Really had a good time here! And God also prepare a good weather for us! Before this camp, the weather was unpredictable. Praise our God! =)

Actually quite relax to be a camp leader. Because committees helped me do all the things. Don't say i bully my committees or what. I also tried to find something to help them. But also thanks God that prepare you all to helped me. You all really helped me a lot and i learn a lot from you all. Good job man...

Lastly, Give all praises, glories and thanks to our God once again!!!

因着信

2010-03-17T23:48:00.001+08:00

信就是对所盼望的是的把握，是还没有看见的是的明证。因着这信心，古人得到了称许。（希伯来书11:1-2）

很愧疚。拿了圣经这么久，我从来没发现过这段经文。我是因为要为即将到来的FOC写"营长的话"，有着感动要用圣经经节做我的结尾，翻翻圣经无意读到。这不是偶然的，我知道。虽然在教会经常听袁牧师分享并强调信。但在自己的生活某层面上，信始终是小的。

这阵子，为自己的生活策划了好多好多。因为工作、学校活动，要兼顾，所以每天都在安排自己的时间。任何人搞砸了我的时间，我就像愤恨世俗般，发脾气脸黑黑。因为学费，所以每天都在打计算机。算算这份工加那份工作再加那份工的薪水，看看够不够筹学费。所以一有电话打来问我要来作吗，我都会二话不说可以可以。缺乏或不合我意的时候，就在那个问题绕圈圈。这样的信大吗？不会，非常小。

希伯来书11:3-31都在说先知如何因信得救，神怎样供应他们的需要。神就是这样的信实。那我有什么好担心的呢？我不知道。突然觉得自己的烦恼好无聊。烦烦烦，靠自己最后还是会束手无策。神一次一次的在我的生命显明他的恩典，他的供应，当下的我会很感恩，但始终我的信却没增加。开始好奇上帝会怎样看待我，他如此的爱我，我却一次一次的不信他。爸爸应该很伤心吧！

前几分钟，我还在担心某些事情。谢谢eng ing姐的提醒。现在的我，不担心了。因为我知道我只要做好一个演员的角色，完成导演（上帝）给我的剧本就好了。

也相信这篇会使我永远的生活提醒。感谢主，只有你真正明白我在干吗。

忙忙忙

2010-03-11T01:43:00.001+08:00

凌晨三点半睡觉早上七点半起身
去补习中心做助教 12点半回家休息
其实也没休息回家就开始做堆积已久的家务
2点半回去补习中心到晚上7点
赶去咖啡店帮忙(做点菜员) 到半夜12点
回家开始洗衣...............

根本就累死...
不过久久一次这样的忙碌时间显得充实一点
再加上身边发生了些事
忙着忙着也可以麻痹些知觉

不知是不是天气过于酷热的关系
大家的火气变得容易上
包括自己脾气莫名变得不好

某方面上承认自己成熟了不少
间接上其实自己没想像中的这么好

可是总是心有余而力不足....

My holidays just started!! :D

2010-03-07T01:32:00.002+08:00

So far have a good time everyday after my exam over which means my holidays start.

In the retreat camp
have fun.. through sharing. through pray. through game. through worship time. through chat........
Even though just had a little of "kucing" join, still enjoyed in it!
Everyone's true colour came out in the camp. lols.
I learn a lot of things there.

After that, had 2days 1 night (4th-5th March) bonding day with sisters and brothers.
Before i join this event, got a lot of stuff blocked me to join
Especially my job..
It is not good for me to take leave as in the bonding day is my 1st day go for work

But miracle came out. God turns impossible to possible.
When the people-in-charge told me that my off day is every friday, i super happy..
I not need ask to take leave. I can officially not need to come next day.

Well.. after i ended my work, I rushed to s'pore and meet up with them..
It wasted a lot of time when we rent the bicycle. Till i gonna dozed off..

Finally waited till they all say can go out for night cycling. I so excited even though i never showed my "high" emotion out. Haha!!
However, this exciting event ended up became a suffering sport..
We start cycling from 11pm to 7am.. Till my butt and leg extremely pain...
Just start cycling, i start looking forward to our next rest place. lols.
Cycling.. Rest.. Chat.. Eat; Eat.. Chat.. Rest.. Cycling..

After we finish our task, we direct go bathe. Can't waiting till hair dry, we all fall asleep already..
Extremely tired....................

Anyway, have a good bonding between sisters and brothers.
I really enjoy in this real experience.
And "Under God's grace", this is the point that i know clearly...

无题

2010-02-25T00:25:00.001+08:00

目前为止,3份工作...
如果新加坡再没有任何消息
这3份工将会是我1个月又3星期的假期生活

听起来好像好拼
为了学费为了不想自私让妈妈一个人烦恼
这阵子都不断找工

3份工的薪水筹筹下应该够缴学费了吧
现在的poly学费涨价该比之前还拼吧

后天还要考试
老实说我没办法专心
没办法阻止自己的脑袋不再想钱的问题
小信的我始终没成熟...

最近的自己容易emo
想办法让自己开朗起来
总没什么头绪
都逼自己睡个觉起床就告诉自己没事了

或许我很难信任人
有些事情自己面对来得更踏实
也继续当个隐形人...........

跌倒

2010-02-22T19:10:00.001+08:00

新年才15天
可是今天才初9 事情就连连不断发生

初3跟家人看电影电话不见

初4跟家人去骑脚车跌个"大红大紫"

初8冲凉在厕所莫名其妙的跌个四脚朝天

初9 双手臂没力
再加上又打针我的手好像废了样
根本没办法把双手举得直直的

真的好像喊我的妈呀

为什么要喊这句话我也不懂
就是很想喊这句话

不过就像郑秀珍在红星大奖说的

不要怕跌到只怕跌到了不再站起来

脚多处伤口盼望早日愈合......

I lost my phone

2010-02-16T01:14:00.001+08:00

Yup, i lost my phone.
This is my 1st time.
My careless..............

Seriously, i not really sad, just kinda.
Used it around 2 years bah i think
Got feeling with it!!

But i scared, really scared
Because my phone got a lot of photo
Not AAA one..
but i still scare it'll leaked out
even though i not a big star

Still felt that movie quite nice
its funny part still made my mood very high
When i went out the cinema.....
GOSH, my phone lost........................

Still got "du du du..." when i used my dad's phone called my phone num...
Think of getting hope to find it back
but just a while, "Your phone....unavailable.".....
Fine, it verifies i had to say bye bye to my phone FOREVER

身外物.. 默哀几秒钟..
Hope you can find a good master..

I lost all contacts..
If don't mind, please can leave your phone num. to my hotmail, facebook, or msn.
Thanks.

Anabel饯行+叙旧

2010-02-13T16:27:00.001+08:00

去新加坡考试考完赶去Anabel家

到custom 有点吓到了
不过幸好老哥在前面
插队才有能力用1小时半的时间从新加越海过马来西亚

和宝慧一起过去
两个人像个无头苍蝇在巴士探头找petronas
幸好前一天有问Anabel他家路线
所以大概认一认indicator 大概在rochestar路牌下车
kairen载我们进去哈哈 (谢咯!还有shirin..)

有些友情不会被时间磨灭
虽然大家身边的故事不再一样
但有些话题还是属于我们的
小声讲大声笑仍是我们的作风

而且惊讶原来宝慧盛乐也在新加坡读书
有时离别不代表从此他在你的生命中留下深深的脚印这么简单而已
可能会因为某时的阴差阳错他就在你的附近
只是不在你的视线范围罢了

偶尔的聚会让大家珍惜那里的一点一滴
聚会一完大家又要回到现实回到他自己的环境
仅剩永远属于我们永远的共同回忆
让我们思念彼此时再度回顾

13年没骑脚车终于享受了骑在上面的那种快感
生疏了不会转弯只会直走哈哈哈哈
一句话 syok(爽)!!!

Mother Teresa

2010-02-01T15:04:00.001+08:00

特丽莎修女

在这之前这对我来说只不过是个伟大的人物
为了纪念他人类都把他的一生故事编成了一场剧

在这以后我改观了
他真的值得所有人这样的钦佩
可以觉得他的一生好像活得很可怜可是却很值得

他的精神他的坚持震撼了我
其实他可以活着和我们一样的生活
甚至可以很有钱
却选择了混在贫穷每天将会经历生死离别的圈子里

从18岁就选定了这样的生活
试问现在的自己应该不敢这么做
没勇气也不愿意吧

在拿诺贝尔奖的时候
以一般人来说
应该会把自己打扮到美美只为了那台上几分钟的光荣
可是他仍穿着一美元的衣服上台
并用穷人的名义领取这个奖
最后变卖奖杯
就因为他这样的认为:"如果那个东西不能拯救到那些穷人,那个东西会显得很没意义.."

特丽莎修女我打从心底钦佩你!!!!!

头痛

2010-01-28T17:35:00.001+08:00

最近都一直处在懊恼状态

很多报告都要用头脑去想
尤其是OOP assignment(是类似写computer programming的东西)

可能是我最近的脾气比较暴躁
做做做一直遇到瓶颈
差不多有冲动想把电脑砸烂了

很努力的解决......................
感觉自己手上已经有钥匙了
可是钥匙太多不懂哪只钥匙才能把那个锁解开

越努力的想解开(努力解开瓶颈)
反而把手弄痛了(反而把头弄痛了)

换句话说我也像个患上失忆的人
头脑总有个熟悉的影子
可是却一直想不到那个人到底是谁
越努力想头就开始痛.....

还要挨到新年前...
有点难熬.....

Cher always forget me!!!!

2010-01-27T02:43:00.001+08:00

Comm ToolKit lesson
Quite nervous because has presentation
Not really prepare it

My group is the 1st group for presentation
My group members have many points to talk
Talk talk talk
then teacher also has many comments

In the halfway of our presentation,
she starts express her own point about our research
then start debate with one of my group members
The rest just feel like watching a debate competition. lol..

End of their debate, is my turn to present my own part
Unexpected that teacher said:" Okay, well done. Thanks."
Zzzzzzzz.. what on earth is going on now???
i haven't present yet, then my teacher chase me out???

My group members tell her haven't finished yet.
Then teacher just let us to continue. Actually is let me to continue the last part...

Well, last time like that, now still like that..
My teacher always forget my existence
I'm really speechless..............................
but my presentation also not very well
I even don't know what the hell i'm saying

Anyway,
I think i ought to let bygones be bygones
and not worry about it anymore...
have to concentrate in next assignments (ESAD, EIS and OOP)
moreover it is my last presentation in that class....

My First Try

2010-01-22T13:35:00.001+08:00

It's my first time to be a camp leader
Of course, i have to lead meeting for preparation of the camp

Before calling a meeting, i still feel relax
When the meeting start, i nervous. Gosh...

Actually, i don't really know what can i do in a meeting
Ermmm, maybe can't say i don't know because got a lot of people tell me what am i suppose to do
Should be can said i don't know how to use a good way to lead a meeting
In a meeting, sure have committees..
They may have their own style to organize a camp (since they have more experiences than me)
Then maybe i should determination and flexible
I should have a smart way to cope any situation that will be popped up anytime
and i should humble also

In the meeting, the process not really smooth as my expectation
Because i still miss up some important part
but one thing is i try my best already =)

I believe it will be better in next meeting
It's just a learning process
And what i had done just honour my Lord

Thanks for your encouragement
I appreciate of it!!!

I really like the theme "iHome" =)

Interlude

2010-01-19T12:30:00.001+08:00

When i walked in Tampines
Somewhere nearby HDB flat...

A boy stood at there
Suddenly he turned his head and looked at me
and we start a very funny conservation..

"Where are you going?" he asked.
"Going home." I answered. (Actually i wanna went to McDonald.. but just a kid. May not to be so serious..)
"How old are you?"
"Bigger than you."
"Primary 1?" LOL, am i looked like P1 student??
"No."
"Then how old are you?" he asked again.
"18."
"18!? is it sec 1?" LOL.
"No. finish sec study already. How old are you?" Was my turn to ask him.
"5 years old." Well, no wonder......
"Where's your parents?"
"Going exercise." he pointed to the park where nearby our place.

Then our conservation ended. Maybe he started to feel awkward? or he just recall that his parents teached him don't talk to stranger? He just walked away and used a very weird eyesight looked at me. lol

Actually i was super duper tired already. But is ok. His innocent makes me to forget my tiredness. Somehow we can happy and just smile because of a small, not really important thing, even a stranger. I rather collect these interlude in my life than just busy in my own things and miss out many interesting part of life.

Isaiah 40:29-31
"He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."

Thanks for bro Titus"s sharing. =)

有性格

2010-01-16T20:46:00.001+08:00

有性格原来早被我挥别了
几时的事我也不知道

软软弱弱迎合世俗怎么行?

不行!!!!
我知道我不是这样的
得把它找回来才行

有些东西是应该被保留的
尤其是原则...

Learning process

2010-01-14T19:00:00.001+08:00

"It's a learning process."
Thanks sis Eng Ing for reminding me
I'll be alright

Had a misunderstanding yesterday
I guess i should ignore her word since Raymond ganshi told she's a direct person
Maybe it just her style to express her feeling
but i still feeling down, especially i feel her words beat my confidence down

I think i should treat it as learning process
not just let my confidence become smaller and smaller
Yup, i don't know anything
but if never ever try, how to learn?

I din blame anyone..
Maybe i have kinda perfectionism
Not allow any defect in my plan
but it just for temporary
i trust i can feel relieved with it after this
So, i'll be alright soon..

Thanks bro Jensen for motivating me to play piano again
Few years ago, i put "Improve piano skill" as one of my whole year goal
At the last day of the year, still can't feel have any improvement at all
So this year i consider to decide to give it up, actually
but now i have a teacher...
I sure have a great loss if i don't want grab this chance, right? haha ^^

Anyway, hope i not in "heat in 3 minutes" again..............

习惯就好

2010-01-13T00:24:00.000+08:00

你的手机又收不到
我像疯子在街上绕
努力跑你的温度
雨淋过几条街都散不掉

你面无表情的嘴角
像在嘲笑我的胡闹
回头看突然明了
爱过了使用期效你就想逃

我想维持礼貌忘记骄傲
继续做你唯一的城堡

习惯就好习惯就好
是我选择看不到分手预兆
没有一丝睡意的困扰无法治疗
习惯就好习惯就好
我承认我的伪装是真的不够好
请给我多一秒

习惯就好习惯就好
一个人在雨里继续的奔跑
却发现再也听不到自己的心跳
习惯就好习惯就好
我承认我的伪装是真的不够好
请给我多一秒一秒

I like it!!

2010-01-06T11:38:00.001+08:00

Well, i pon COMM TOOL lesson today
Sleep till around 1pm
quite late, that feel so good
somemore my "panda eyes" disappear >.<

Do OOP, wash my clothes
Evening go swimming, wohoooooo!!
nobody acc me, just me alone

=Skip the part of how a silly girl find the pool in Tampines stadium=

Many coach at there, but no one is my coach
quite a long time never have a swim
(Usually just simply play water~)
then my swimming skill become suck, haizzzz..

Maybe just me alone, kinda sien...
just swim 30mins, then go bathe liao

My hair and skin damn dry now
too much chlorine in the pool..........

After shower, feel like wanna faint down
Maybe hungry liao!!
but just wanna eat chocolate, don't know why haha

Go 7-11 find the chocolate
meanwhile paid my broadband fees
After that go buy bread for my next day breakfast
no $1 bread anymore~~ T.T

Buy strawberry green tea
i think i start to like it!!
Also go paid my bus concession fee

Lastly walk back home
i think i had walk around 1000 steps
Yup, is a start of healthy life!!

I like today!!!
n such like this slow pace of life ♥ ♥

2010 goal

2010-01-03T22:29:00.000+08:00

I think i have to set my "2010 goal"

-Read bible(Although failed many years alrdy)
-Jogging, swimming (Maybe weekends)
-Reflect my ministry in church
-Change my bad habits(Secret :X)
-Improve my English. Dun make it become an obstacle to serve my God!
-3.8 ♥

New year, new life..
I hope a new breakthrough in my life!!

阿爸好惜我

2010-01-03T02:01:00.002+08:00

阿爸好惜我...

假期我都回咖啡店帮忙做cashier
现在总觉得坐在那里傻傻有点显
做工不能打电话所以就sms 结果会被nag

算了就什么都不用作
等钱来就好....
心里就有个念头想听歌
总觉得或许歌曲可以帮我减轻点烦躁

哈哈结果很巧
有一桌印度人看到channel 5正播michael jackson的演唱会
他们要求把电视机开大声
虽然没什么听MJ的歌
但最起码我终于可以听歌了
还可以欣赏下他的舞蹈 =)

跟家人去Sutera Mall逛街
看到有人吃番石榴
番石榴的味道诱惑让我突然好想吃
可是爸爸讲那里的水果贵到爆
所以打消念头失望了下
结果回咖啡店
头手拿了一桶的番石榴问我要不要吃
哈哈吃到爽爽

小小心意小小要求
上帝都这样满足我
I love U........... muackssss!!

明天就要回新加坡了
我的生活又要打回原形.......

我的圣诞节

2009-12-26T11:11:00.001+08:00

本来以为可以在平安夜那天在乌节路狂欢
期待了几年结果希望还是破灭
明年我一定要去!!

不过圣诞节还是有进新加坡
刚好我妈要那晒衣架给我哥
所以就计划顺便去游泳

进kastam 爽到爽爽
塞车到~~~~ 花了2小时多才到我哥宿舍
天气又不美

本来打算回去tampines拿我的泳衣
结果时间关系再加上天气不停作怪
爸爸就打算随便走走买件泳衣给我
顺便买我的泳镜

实在没话说我从试衣室出来
踢到一个架子(刚好那间店正在整理他的储藏室,所以很乱)
架子倒下傻眼
幸好只是几个塑料杯掉下来没有玻璃
我的脚有痛到一下老板娘脸色变掉
结果付钱的时候还真是ps到

买好了就吃点东西
出来车镜夹着一张saman
实在是有够够够爽了咯
爸爸把车park在红线停车格
$50就这样"咻"飞走了

去Jurong east的游泳池
本来停了一阵的雨又开始下起毛毛雨
等换好泳装雨越下越大了

等等等...........
可能怕打雷所以安全起见全部人都被赶去避雨
等雨渐渐转小我们就开始玩
因为那是时间已经6点了所以老爸也没租泳圈
我们就只玩那种不用泳圈的游泳池
有点小显... 不过一起玩的感觉我珍惜

才玩个45分钟这样
老爸就走过来告诉我们小妹衣服忘记拿
所以不能玩了要出去买衣服
所以起来冲凉收拾

去大故家妈妈才想起小妹衣服其实有带
只是放在另一个bag
炸炸炸到...........................................

这次圣诞节还真有够难忘~~

我想去East coast..
听我哥讲到好像很好玩
有谁要陪我去那里玩???

荷包破洞了

2009-12-24T14:20:00.001+08:00

只Zzzz了3小时被美莹的早安信息吵醒

去CS 和一群姐妹
难得这次特别多人一起聚
Vivien,Liping,Meiyeng,Shiepeng,Huiyee,Siyean,Siyin,Zhilong,Shaowen

"请不要阻碍交通"

可能太久没见面了
大家都很喜欢堵住路中央
开始聊起自己的话题

在Neway前集合
大伙开始堵住大门聊起来

去旺角吃早餐
吃了就去上厕所
厕所出来又在厕所前聊起来

去买了美莹的圣诞礼物后
又突然停在innercity的路中央聊起来

走出innercity又在路中央聊起来

我和美莹家骏走走一下回头望大家不见了
原来又突然停下来堵住交通聊起来
搞什么鬼哦..........

大部分都变到很女人
来shopping centre会要真的shopping
想买这个买那个
我还没到这样的境界哈哈

本来有些还犹豫要window shopping还是飚歌
(我不用犹豫因为我想飚很久了哈哈)
不过最后全部去飚除了vivien和诗萍

俐萍很high 唱到很激动(开始站起来跳舞)
志龙很认真之前看他点杨丞玲的歌
以为他要唱结果最后他只唱Super girl

大家都好像有意破坏喇叭
不过幸好出来耳膜还没破掉
声音真得很大声很尖
尤其俐萍不用mic也可以听到他高分贝的声音

结帐有被吓到了下
RM200++
而且明明就说4.15pm唱完
4.08pm就谢谢光临了
哪里可以这样....

赶回去做工真的有累到
眼睛都快凸出来
一直接错信息还一直听到幻音
接近放工已经开始不想讲话了
老板娘应该觉得我很大牌
可是我真的不是故意的

本来想买本书没钱只好死心
可能可以考虑在书局把那本书看完?哈哈

大白

2009-12-24T01:58:00.001+08:00

答案很唐突的答案
惊讶一切的发生

是自己太长情还是好奇心过重
仍没放弃寻找那答案

一切的假象自己制造
催使了我不断寻找
渴望一切会如自己所愿

寻不见一切假象总归假象
寻见的都推翻了我所想
可是这一次
我真的服了彻底的服了

讶异疑惑也带着一丁点的侥幸
那段回忆其实不漂亮
我厌恶了...

Random

2009-12-22T02:10:00.001+08:00

好人有好报感觉被扭曲了
被排挤有苦自己吞
旁观者觉得可怜就只剩可怜

小社会
开始没多久就有人告诉我
形形色色的人见多了
感慨也增加了

解铃还须系铃人
我却找不到了系铃人

如果睡个觉就可以把所有的悲伤忘掉
我想这场觉一定很久很久...

Random

2009-12-21T02:40:00.001+08:00

有些人可以因为爱一个人改变自己
有些人可以因为死心而麻醉自己

爱一人需要付出很多
换来的伤害不会少
被爱的时候不懂珍惜
失去的时候才知道还是他最疼自己

看着朋友受着这样的伤害
能说什么只能静叹一切

两个都是自己的朋友
中间人似乎更难做

到最后你只需要他的耳朵
我想我没事吧..
毕竟这已是我没有权力插手的事了

小保姆+小管家的日子
终于搞了一段落
而我糜烂的生活还在继续着..

原来我这么爱你

2009-12-21T02:29:00.001+08:00

我们从来没有自己以为的那么深情
有时候只是习惯性地沉浸在回忆里
当遇到更好的他
所有的苦涩转换成甜蜜
你突然清醒:
原来我没那么喜欢你

我本来不去考试了

2009-12-18T05:00:00.001+08:00

早上6点多起床
7点多就出门了
10点还被塞在马来西亚
10.45就要进考场
11点就开始考试

很过瘾很刺激咯
新山突然大塞车
车完全不会动

听说撞车
从早上6点多车龙就开始这样长了
马来西亚的效率值得反思
交警站在旁边一直吹口哨
没有用还是一样不会动

巴士上很多人都迟到
大家的电话响个不停

我真的有冲动下车走过去对面坐巴士回家了
打算到时retake OOP test
可是校方要MC 我是因为迟到没有MC
下车只好找taxi 心想应该会比巴士快一点

本来打算下CS走Kastam
看到车龙只好转车走Larkin搭170
该死的交通灯每支都红灯
Taxi佬看他的IC 好像70多岁了
驾到很慢可是看到他有在尽量
走Larkin的路也塞 Zzzz
我看着跑meter机一直在跳时间一分一分的跑
我的钱包只有12块钱心越拉越高
最后到larkin车站 15块
过后他懂我是学生只收10块

心急哭了
从马来西亚哭到新加坡
一直在跑脚没有力跑到很辛苦
我想我跑的速度只是比走的速度快了一点点罢了

幸好爸爸特地在woodlands等我载我去学校
不然肯定到不了学校

考着试心情完全没平复
考完试还在心有余悸
心脏根本就没回到它的位子

直到家静打来你的激发将...
还是只有你让我忘记了早上的事情真的笑了

妈妈笑我傻总是抓紧每件事
对物对事对情都很执着
看得比谁都重
我知道这是我的缺点
从小立志当女强人越来越遥远

发生这样的事让我想起了一个朋友
他的乐观他的自立他的适应能力
可能有时候他也有自己的情绪
可是最起码他的招牌笑容没有失去过
打从内心认真面对每个环境
我要学习开始堵住我的泪腺分泌!!

Specified Someone 2

2009-12-17T21:34:00.001+08:00

不用一直道歉

我还是一直维持着
守着我曾许下的承诺

有些事情不是靠嘴巴
一切都等平复了心情再说吧

我不会再做任何对你的回应
避免到时见面时不必要的尴尬

Specified Someone

2009-12-14T17:06:00.001+08:00

你美化了
尝试作些补偿被美化的事也永远不会发生

有些话只是客套
单刀直入怕会承受不了

不要尝试对我有任何不意企图
否则为我做的一切只让我觉得藏着心机
一再的防备只会让关系变得更不单纯

请还回我应有的私人空间
太over的关心
只让我觉得生活被侵犯

有些故事不必说给每个人听
有些情绪是该说给懂的人听
我不懂也不想懂
所以没必要告诉我
我和你就只是这样而已

p/s: 自己对号入座我也没办法哈哈

Answer

2009-12-06T02:41:00.001+08:00

2012 视觉不错的电影
看这部电影的当儿很多反思

在想这部电影的导演制作人
是在利用这部电影告诉观众世界正进入末日
世界已经开始败坏偏向权势与金钱
要悔改要珍惜自己眼前人
还是就像牧师所说的只为了展现自己的电脑技巧

我看到一半脑海就突然pop出一个问题
如果有天你眼睁睁的看着一个一个国家开始被毁灭
整个地球都在被不同的方式吞噬
在你很清楚的知道自己所处在的地方也会逃不了死神的魔掌
你会怎样看待这件事??

不知为什么我第一个答案就是--自杀
因为我觉得等死的过程应该很痛苦
就好象囚犯等待被枪毙的感觉
自杀可能就不用再看到整个世界怎样被毁灭
很悲观 right? 我知道我也觉得自己神经了呵呵

过后 Titus弟兄就突然分享一段经节
哥林多后书 6:1-10
我们这些与神同工的,也劝你们不要白受神的恩典.因为他说:"在悦纳的时候,我应允了你;在拯救的日子,我帮助了你."看哪!现在就是悦纳的时候,现在就是拯救的日子.我们凡事都没有妨碍人,不让这职分受到毁谤,反而在各样的事上,表明自己是神的仆人,就如持久的忍耐........借着荣耀和羞辱、坏名声和好名誉.我们好象是骗人的,却是真诚的;好象是人所不知的,却是人所共知的;好象是必死的,你看,我们却是活着的;好象是受惩罚的,却没有处死;好象忧愁,却是常常喜乐的;好象贫穷,却使很多人富足;好像是什么都没有,却是样样都有.

2Corinthians 6:1-10
As God's fellow workers we urge you not to receive God's grace in vain. For he says,"In the time of my favor I heard you, and in the day of salvation I helped you." I tell you, now is the time of God's favor, now is the time of salvation. We put no stumbling block in anyone's path, so that our ministry will not be discredited. Rather, as servants of God we commend ourselves in every way: in great endurance.......... through glory and dishonor, bad report and good report; genuine, yet regarded as impostors; known, yet regarded as unknown; dying, and yet we live on; beaten, and yet not killed; sorrowful,yet always rejoicing; poor, yet making many rich; having nothing, and yet possesing everything.

上帝给了我应该有且合理的答案
上帝的恩典救恩我珍惜...
Thanks God!!

加油了我的朋友

2009-12-03T13:28:00.001+08:00

有时没握到的手会比握到的手更长久

没记错 6年
难以想象你坚持到现在
谢谢你的痴

早料到我的答案对你来说是种残酷
你被伤害了哭了
我了解这样的感受但我不能做什么
只知道继续浪费时间付出
期待着不可能会发生的结果
对你来说的伤害会更大
我内心的罪恶感会很深

我想这场游戏始终要靠你自己去面对
我不能做什么只能对你说声对不起
你会是我永远的好朋友好弟兄

加油 挥别错的才能和对的相逢
继续仰望他他必医治你

=我心中的小约定始终在坚持着=

High Tea

2009-12-02T10:35:00.001+08:00

I go high tea with Shao Qin sis and Xuan Kang bro
quite a long time didn't met Xuan Kang bro since he went for NS in s'pore
just chatting and sharing, nothing happened
and finally he get my hp number..

He sent a message to me just now
he thanks me for willing come to meet him
Hmmmm, hope is not a special meaning in it
He may just too glad can meet a old friend again..........

♥ Friendship Forever ♥
Sorry for hurting your heart
but i won't break this rule and principal FOREVER..
hope u do so too...

Drive me crazy

2009-12-02T00:21:00.001+08:00

4++am my aunt and her daughter wake up
Disturbing!!!

I and granddad still sleep
my cousin turn on our room's light
doing her thing and make many sounds
Very pekcek!!!!

I wanna scold her
but my aunt still at home
I buai tahan and forced wake up even i damn damn damn tired and sleepy

My cousin ask me:" Why u wake up so early?"
Me said coldly:" Because of you!"
Then she say: Okay lo, i back to my room..
AARRRGGGGG!! can u detect it earlier!?
I brush my teeth alrdy and prepare go bathe to awake myself
Okay anyhow.. I may try to practice my assignment that writing in class later as well

Then then then
RAWR RAWR RAWR
my aunt turn........
she keep kacau me ask me do her things...
"Can u help me do this? do that? Do u have this? have that? Can u read this letter?"
My study plan gone eventually

When i go school, they go back sleep
RAWR again!!!!

Robbery

2009-12-01T16:22:00.001+08:00

Relax relax, i'm not the victim and robber

Before i sleep
i heard noise from downstairs
I wonder and look down

A lot of uncles go around and look like find someone
After that i saw a guy hid behind a car and run suddenly
A girl saw it and shout:" Uncle uncle, over there!!"
Then the uncles run and chase the guy
Also have people shout:" robbery! robbery!"
Few of men rush down and help chase the guy
I don't know whether anot they had catch the guy at last

Is wondering
should i be careful as well?
because sometimes i back home very late even reach home at 12am

Low crime != no crime
Scary sia.........

Random

2009-11-25T20:47:00.001+08:00

始终没变始终如一
一样的态度一样的语气

或许信心不大吧
才用这样的方式自我鉴定

我只会和别人一样
一切当着笑话看
笑了笑一切就随风而去

妈妈说我这次回来好像变了另个人了
或许最近发生很多事吧
也承认自己在思想上改变了很多
不过仍相信时间到了一切始终会回到原点

I ♥ U

2009-11-21T23:38:00.001+08:00

I'm glad i have such a good God

Enjun sister send a msg to me just now
She share God's word to me
2Cor 4:8-9 -- We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.
哥林多后书 4:8-9 -- 我们虽然四面受压,却没有压碎;心里作难,却不至绝望,受到迫害,却没有被丢弃;打倒了,却不至死亡.

From this sharing, i know God has answer my prayer alrdy
I didn't share my problem that i'm facing now to enjun sis
but i know it may in God's plan

I also like she said that
"Situation may be difficult in life now. But thanks God, know that in Him, you may be down, but you are never out because He will deliver you. Wait for God's action, HE NEVER FAIL! "
I appreciate this word..
it actually encourage me a lot a lot

When i shout to God "Where are You?"
He answer me "I'm here" softly
I can listen it once my mind and heart peaceful
just bow down and surrender myself
Everything in His plan
Everything He care
He'll take action in it!!!!

2Cor 4:16-17 -- Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are bein renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.
哥林多后书 4:16-17 -- 所以我们并不沮丧,我们外面的人虽然渐渐败坏,但里面的人却日日更新,因为我们短暂轻微的患难,是要为我们成就极大无比,永远的荣耀.

AMEN AMEN!
I LOVE YOU DEEPLY AND THANK FOR LOVING ME TOO!!!

Jazz

2009-11-21T21:15:00.001+08:00

石头越来越重
一路从公园跑回家尽我所能以最快的速度跑
仿佛我这样跑那块石头会在我到家前被我甩在路边

Jazz Jazz Jazz..
I really put a lot of effort and try my best to dance it well
but it look like wasted
Just because i absent 3 times when their rehearsal
So they think i'm not serious..

before rehearsal
have a short briefing

我穿好表演的服装走出来 senior就很酸很酸的说:
"你看你之前没来所以irene把你弄成这样
等下我们要好好看你怎样表演"
我一笑置之当作他华文不好
用不对词才会感觉听起来很难听

开始彩排 Jazz是最后第3项节目
还没上去跳我的高跟鞋就坏了
勉强穿Ailin的很大双脚一踢就会飞掉那种

上台心理压力很大信心少了三分之二再加上脚上的鞋
整个舞蹈慢了人家半拍
还没结束就开始做好心理准备
因为我知道等下senior、老师给feedback时肯定会中shoot

没想到我的心理准备还是不够接老师和senior的招
我可以接受善意批评但是很over
老实说我介意老师说的几句话:
"你这样的跳法根本就在降低其他人的水准"
"如果这只舞蹈不漂亮你要知道你得负起很大的责任"
"所以我之前就跟irene他们说过了你们怎么这么大胆冒这么大的风险让Joyce参与你们的舞蹈?"
这几句话不断在我耳边回旋

我介意真的很介意
如果是这样当初你看到我在开始练这个舞蹈的时候
就不应该笑笑的对我说"你参加这只舞啊? 很好"
你应该就要坦白告诉我我不适合!!
再不然就直接告诉我如果你要quit就直接quit 不要拖泥带水
你现在这样来说我只会让我感觉你已经做好准备看我笑话!!!!!!

之前是因为朋友才加入这只舞
现在已演变成一种责任

I cry.. i go to toilet and start crying
When i back home, i lock myself in room and start crying again

Anabelle知道我不对经但我理所当然地说我okay
我不笑不说话静静一个人走
我不笑只因为如果我笑只让我觉我很假很恶心
我静静不说话因为很多声音意念在我里面再说话只让我觉得很吵很烦

Should i insist in my decision and give up everything even Jazz
or i should responsible to continue my practice and perform it next Sat??
God, where are You??
I need a pair of ears!!!
and have someone tell what should i do??

Slack

2009-11-21T10:00:00.001+08:00

Recently, just wanna slack
don't know why
no mood to do anything
many plans ruinned

keep sleeping sleeping
still feel tired even though i have sleep many hours alrdy
maybe weather too cool
Every night i can have a deep deep and sweet sweet sleep

Today i late to school
because i just realise i forget to bring my ez-link card when i board in bus
the worst thing is i don't have syiling, smallest note in my wallet is $10
luckily the driver say never mind and let me alight at next bus stop
and then i forced to walk back home to get ez-link card RAWR

Take mrt to Clementi
i thought i can rush to school on time
at last, still failed
i alight train at dover station
but 74 bus very slow
make me panic sia.....

At last
jiafeng, siying and siti also late go in to class because of waiting for me
kinda paiseh
Mr.Chang very nice
he never mark us late although we late to class 30mins alrdy
and just ask me don't repeat it again after i explain the whole thing to him

In class, i try to concentrate
but can't... don't know why
i also lack of interest in playing stock again since my stock keep dropped
gladly that it just a game, not using my $$$ ='(

Dance Dance Dance
Jazz Jazz Jazz
keep rush into my mind
tommorow have rehearsal again
they give me warning alrdy since i didn't attend the rehearsal a couple of times
i tell myself is my LAST LAST LAST.........

Tommorow my aunt and cousin take flight to Shanghai
stay at there around 1 week
maybe my life can have some peace
I may looking forward of it..

My backache again.....

Jasmine 恭喜恭喜

2009-11-19T14:50:00.002+08:00

最后我还是回去马来西亚出席我大妹的颁奖典礼
神恩典我知道
不过天气时间路途
都不断的在神的安排当中

去学校之前去了一趟咖啡店
送老弟晚餐
吓到惊讶心情复杂
不否认我的心跳加速
我看到了他
虽然没转头背影还是熟悉着

回到辅士学校
军鼓乐队的制服换了
很简单的设计(感觉以前的比较漂亮)

陈纯秀老师庄芊诗老师还是记得我
聊了一下问了问大家状况
感觉时间真的很快
转眼间离开母校6年了
可能是我的样子他们还以为我还在中学哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈

老实说我比较想见到郑清娟老师和陈泽丽老师
我的恩师.........
不过他们都没在那里了

还遇到慧仪哦一样的cool
远远看去还以为自己近视加深

等了好久我妹终于上台拿奖了
手机有点烂相数没这么好

上台拿奖不过头没转过来

所以回家再拍

有点伤心
感觉上妹妹在外面的感情好过跟家人
看到妹妹在学校嘴巴没停过
或许该反省反省我这个姐姐在他心里的分量

Anyway
Jasmine, good work!!
继续保持水准姐姐会再出席你的颁奖典礼的!!!
希望这一次能够在你的学业上有更大的鼓励
期待看到你接下来的成就加油!!!

Random

2009-11-18T14:03:00.001+08:00

COMM TOOL
虽然说我可能会因为这堂课英文进步
却是我压力蛮不错大的一堂课
幸好还有Siying陪我

今天又是individual presenatation
老师现场给题目
15分钟时间research

research我当然是最厉害的啦
就一直google google罢了
找到的资料蛮不错多

等待被叫出去present的时刻还是一样的难熬
而且老师是照着名单顺序叫
我名字开头是S 当然很后面
可是我又不敢volunteer先出去讲话

我身体在发抖牙齿在打架声音在颤抖
抖到可不是假的还带夸张式
不懂是紧张过头还是课室冷气开太大
我还跑去厕所喘大气开声练自己的稿

再加上老师两次的训
一次是老师叫我给classmate feedback
因为我和一个男生的看法一样
我就很简单的指着那个男生说"Yea, same!"
结果中shoot
老师讲我和他不可能一样死要我讲我的feedback
另外一次是我和Siying在breaktime聊天讲华语
老师突然又在旁插嘴"Speak English"
Oh my gosh.....

好不容易到我了
Yeah!!老师和给我的feedback的人说我有进步
比上一次说得还更好资料也找到不错简单易懂
果然付出没白费

COMM TOOL后去dance
好不容易把整支Jazz学完了
只是偶尔会忘记step
要好好表演这一场
为自己化上完美的句号

明天不懂该去哪里
同时dance rehearsal,Christian fellowship和我大妹的颁奖典礼
上星期六没去rehearse,senior很生气了
Christian Fellowship和Eng Service联合有点想念那里的弟兄姐妹
我大妹好不容易拿到全级11名有机会上台拿奖
之前还答应他了看到万分期待的表情有点不想扫他的兴
三样看似同等重量不知该选哪个
总会对其中两方不公平
真希望有人能够为我抓主意

最近开始学玩股票
课程需要再加上不是真钱玩
乱乱下注看它起起落落蛮好玩的

背后又开始作怪了时不时在痛
希望这段黑暗日子赶快过去

窒息

2009-11-16T20:26:00.001+08:00

我的软弱
再一次把我淹没让我窒息了

假装坚强
久了会不会开始慢慢习惯转化为真坚强

放下谦卑自己
慢慢演变成连尊严都不顾了
被人糟蹋了
还告诉自己不想惹这么多事而不啃声
这样的自己算正常吗

尝试了两次结果还是一样
上次还有人帮我解决
这次要自己解决了
不知自己是否又会再一次被软下心绝情不起
不过还是告诉自己
永远都不会再踏入这个世界

心情好的时候
不管什么音乐都是悦耳的
没有心情时音符开始和心中的杂音跳跃着
好想捂着耳朵关上眼睛
什么都没听见什么都没看到

阿爸父

2009-11-13T09:52:00.001+08:00

我好爱我的阿爸父
刚才搭巴士回家
在巴士突然嗅到KFC的味道
很香突然让我有冲动想吃炸鸡
不过最后因为省钱逼自己打消念头
结果回到家我傻了
就这么巧我公公刚好炸很多只炸鸡
我的天啊
虽然冷掉不脆了
不过想到这就是一种恩典就觉得这些炸鸡很好吃
吃在口里甜在心里呵呵呵呵

本来明天的时间是超满的
上完课就去洗车洗完就喝绍菁姐会面吃晚餐过后去SP的布道会服侍
忙到晚上9点多 non stop
刚突然收到绍菁姐的信息她不得空
我想这应该是上帝的安排吧希望我在布道会前好好预备自己
希望明天的布道会能够很顺利进行
一切交给神；荣耀归给你!!

最近自己又回去跳舞了
也会在28号表演Jazz dance
回家路上有种空虚的感觉
思绪乱糟糟心情更沉进谷底
好像我不再是我不喜欢这样的自己

我脸上没什么不代表就是如此
我宁可走进自己的世界也不要进入那不能接受我的世界
那种眼光气氛证明了有些事实是应该面对接受的
我不想继续在私底下拼命挣扎不断呐喊自己的无能
我只想相信我作的决定会是你应许我作的事

Never Let You Go

2009-11-06T23:23:00.000+08:00

The rain, just never seems to bring
the joy, I feel the same
everlasting pain of my loss remains
My heart, can't seem to learn to part
the hold you left the mark
all that I dreamed of now it seems so stark
Tho I told myself won't hold my breath
a part of me was dying
there is nothing left for me to do now, but give in

If you gave me, one more chance to tell you how i was feeling
I would sing to you and tell you I won't live my life without you
If you gave me, one more chance to tell you how i was feeling
I would hold your hand and look in your eyes and ya know,
I'd never let you go

The way, you left me on the train
I don't know what to say
I remember everything on that day
I can't believe we'd never dance
I just need one more chance
to share the sunset our one last romance
Tho I told myself won't hold my breath
a part of me was dying
there is nothing left for me to do now, but give in

驾车经验

2009-11-05T10:58:00.001+08:00

终于我妈妈教我驾车了
要求了很久这个诺言总算实践了

妈妈和小妹真的很伟大哦
他们把性命都交在我的手上(看了接下来的故事,你就会点头赞成,哈哈)

刚开始妈妈跟我解释了很久
让我有点迫不及待想坐上司机的位子

刚开始我的脚很不灵活
妈妈在旁边也为我捏了一大把冷汗
一直喊"踩油","放油","踩牙","放牙","慢一点","不要这么快"
喊喊一下字也变少了 "油..油","牙..牙","慢..慢..","啊啊啊....."

之前笑诗萍结果也差点驾上去盾
不过是差点没有真的上去哈哈
不过在那差点那几秒之间
我的脚都被打乱了头脑也乱了
乱乱踩结果幸好及时踩到brake

学不到一下妈妈觉得路太短
就到处找新花园--Bandar Baru Kangkar Pulai
新花园还为开辟完车又少所以成了我的学车路线
在那里练了很久那里的guard一直看我们这辆车绕来绕去
我慢慢学从1号牙进到2号牙再进到3号牙
我抓驾驶盘抓到超紧的因为紧张肩膀都僵硬掉
眼球转看后镜头都不敢乱乱转(应该说都没转)
尝试尽量把车都驾在左边的路线
新手关系有点抓不到自己是否有驾歪

过后越驾越顺妈妈就开始教我U-turn
那里差点出人命
因为还控制不到驾驶盘不懂应该转到多少
我突然转太多再加上因为紧张把脚下的油踩多了
感觉整个人都要被抛出去了(当时没绑安全带)
还有一次是因为转不够差点把车驾进山路了
无知的妹妹不懂发生了什么事我和妈妈就一直在笑
哈哈还真是惊险

练了差不多一小时我的训练到了一段落
开始期待下一次的训练...........

Stalker

2009-11-01T16:22:00.001+08:00

I'm a STALKER
Maybe influenced by Pris
Wakakakaka....

Because i took a nap just now
dreamt i gathered with my primary friends again
very happy....
That's why I sudden go to stalk my primary friends' blog
and save their blog address in my blog
so i can visit their blog once they update their blog

kinda envy that they still contact with each other
still very close after they graduate from primary sch
I just gathered with them when Form 1
after that, we all lost contact
until now, contact again via facebook
but just accept and simply say "Hi, how are you?"
maybe feel strange with each other
maybe feel no common talk with each other

或许我尝试开口说些什么
之间的冰山会被打破??
但是我始终不敢踏出第一步........

随笔

2009-10-31T21:04:00.001+08:00

So cold..
Today, rainning non-stop from the evening
my heart also rainning
this weather make me feel sleepy
and tempted me go to sleep
My daily timeline ruinned eventually
Haizzzzzz..

Have lunch with my dear father just now
he had accident after he called me yesterday
falling down from his motorbike again
my father complained his injury very pain
that irresponsible driver~~ ugh!!!!

Very surprise when grandfather recomment a book to me
about the "horoscope"
LOL.....

Kinda regretful made a decision yesterday
do a silly thing
sincerely pray that that person never recognize my voice
never doubt the person is me.....
Although it had passed a long long time ago
that person still can influence me...
make me crazy till i don't know what i'm doing

Is she lost something or she just realize something??
confusing..